


Palomino

by SabrinaT



Series: Stallion [4]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27235225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabrinaT/pseuds/SabrinaT
Summary: The subtlety of the changes put into effect with Tommy Shelby's murder was shocking. For such a man, his impact was ever so small in the lives of those around him, and the business was easy enough to abandon, leaving everything behind to live an honest life.
Relationships: Ada Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Arthur Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Bonnie Gold/Original Character(s), Bonnie Gold/Original Female Character(s), Isaiah Jesus/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Stallion [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819309
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Finn looked at the fireplace, watching the wood being engulfed by the flames. The small room was pretty warm already, but his bones were freezing. Maria had been right when she said grief was a lot colder than any other emotion, and here it was, the proof. Losing a brother was the coldest Finn Shelby had ever been: with John, and now with Tommy, he was so cold he forgot what being warm felt like. The smallest flicker of gold had to be refused, had to be pushed down, couldn't be allowed to bring light into the utter darkness within his soul.

No, nothing could be let loose, let alone that glimmer of hope. 

The cold was preferable to the shame of admitting to things a man like him could never admit to. 

But shit, the shivers took more from him than Finn was willing to give. 

So he let the ember become a fire, and the fire became warmth, and the warmth cut through the ice, and the ice melted into water; the water became a river, and the river became a flood, and the flood became... The flood became death, and the cycle started all over again. Finn was back to being cold, only to battle with himself, weighing the pros and con of encouraging the last bit of hope to go to war with the pain. 

"Finn, you need to go to bed. You can't stay there all night again" a voice cut through the loud silence, and the youngest of the Shelby siblings woke up from his own inner musings, blurry eyes focusing on the woman standing at the door. She was young, with long raven hair, chocolate-coloured eyes, and rose-shaped lips; her arms, crossed in front of her chest, displayed goosebumps, erupting from the toffee of her skin. Her name was Maria, and she was the young wife of Finn's best friend, Isaiah. Together, they had a child, Eden, who was Finn's goddaughter, one of the tethers to life he still had. 

"How come you're awake, still? Is the baby..." Finn inquired, looking at Maria and giving him an unfortunate view of his dark eyes, and features that shouldn't be as marked as they now were. 

"She's just fine, she's sleeping. I uh... Me and Isaiah were awake to see if you'd go to bed" Maria admitted, pursing her lips, making them even rounder and rosier. "He was telling me how he had a suspicion you didn't sleep last night, and we were worried. Since you arrived from Tommy's funeral, you've been wasting away, and we are so worried" 

"Maria, you saved my life. Allowing me to stay here, letting me invade your home, intrude on your life..." 

"Don't. You know how much Isaiah likes having you here, and Eden adores you. I'm happy, too. Would be happier if you got some rest" she explained, unfolding her arms and placing her hands on her hips. "I understand how you feel, you know I do; and I can vouch for how important it is to rest and sleep" 

"It's... it's not just that. It's... I don't know what to do with my life, there's this void now, where Tommy and his orders used to be. I don't know how to explain, but there's nothing I want to do, there is nothing I know how to, there is..." he responded, spitting out the embarrassing words as if he was exorcising the guilt, releasing the demon and letting Maria del Camino deal with it. Granted, she was probably better at it than he was... she'd defeated this evil before, and would do it again. "I need to find purpose, need to stop thinking and need to forget about what we used to do. How the hell does Isaiah do it? How does... how does he cope with having a shop, and leading a normal life? How does he do it, Maria?" 

"You could ask him. I would assume it was me, in a way, and what... you were there, you know what I mean, don't you? And then Eden" Maria shrugged, even though there was absolutely nothing casual about what she was saying. In fact, there was a tiny little scar, a blink and you'll miss it mark above her eyebrow that displayed exactly how serious the matter was. "I can see how the transition is... difficult" 

"I know that. I know. I know I need time, and I need to sleep, even if it's to be able to play with Eden during the day. I don't want to be in the dark, that's when... when his voice and his words, and who he was comes knocking, and I have to think about something else to keep him from telling me what to do" Finn stated, putting the worst of it into less than eloquent expressions. "John, sometimes, too. And what keeps them away is... I can't..." 

"Yeah" Maria sighed, defeated. Finn was aware she knew what he meant, Finn knew she'd known it for longer than he had, and still he couldn't say it, couldn't even think of saying the name, the name and the figure that kept him from climbing the stairs into a state he could never come back from. Equally, both of them knew the vital part of the deal he'd made: to push it down, in return for the slightest peace of mind. "I wonder if it isn't love" 

"No, not love. It's not like that, it's... it's wanting to be in love, it's clinging to her because she's the most magnificent human being I have ever met, and she is who I want to be, and she is who I want to be by my side, I want to be protected, I want to look at her every single second of my life, because I know she would find a way to make me feel safe" he ended up murmuring, ears threatening to spill from his eyes, though unwarranted as they were. "I want what my sister has. I want what she has, and I don't want it as her brother; I want to be my sister, I want her to love me, to look at me and do for me what she does for my sister. I want her" 

"Say her name" 

"Maria..." 

"You're not in love with her, you want her to protect you from the monsters in your head. I understand that. But you need to say her name, you need to let yourself make sense of this. It's not love, I know it isn't, but it is just another ghost you need to face; this ghost might be different than your brothers, but it is a ghost. You need to let it go, and you need to work on feeling protected without her by your side" Maria insisted, approaching Finn and taking his arm, urging him to do as she said, to start to heal from the little boy who was desperate for someone to tell him what to do. 

"Georgia. Georgia Gold" Finn hissed, purging some of the venom that had taken over his heart and mind. "Georgia Gold. Aunt Polly's stepdaughter. Gigi, my sister's wife" 

"There you go. It's not her, it's that you feel lost. That's what it is" 

"That's what it is" 


	2. Chapter 2

Sunshine and love were a powerful combination and Arthur Shelby was a man known for enjoying both. Well, enjoying it when the sunshine was accompanied by the love of the woman he was all eyes for: Laura Steinbacker. Adding Billy, his toddler son, and there was nothing else in the world that mattered. His attention was undivided, all eyes for the two of them, and none for whatever was beyond. Luckily, he could help out with Laura's property outside Swansea, could even go down to the pub she owned and do some cleaning or some cooking, or simply some drinking. No business, no demons, no nothing: the violence and all the things that came with it were dormant. Not dead, because they reared their ugly heads every once in a while, in the weirdest of moments, in those times there really was no necessity for them to come into the picture. 

"Arthur, I'm sure the man didn't mean it like that" 

"Didn't he? So why did he say it, eh? Why did he say that about Billy?" 

"I understand maybe it sounded like that, but have you thought that it would need context?" 

This had been one of those times: Arthur had almost decked a man in the face for saying that Billy was slightly taller and leaner than other toddlers. The doting father had understood it as an insult, as a jab against the most precious little boy in the world. Laura hadn't heard it, as she was chatting to Ada, who'd gone to the park with her own children. When she noticed the look on her partner's face, Laura had all but ran to him, to pull him away from the confused father who'd uttered the remark. That being said, she was lucky enough to stop the oldest of the Shelbies before he did something he would have to answer for. 

"I was there. I heard the context" Arthur explained, red across the face, furrowed brow making his prominent bone structure even more pronounced. "Why would he say that about Billy?" 

"Just a remark, don't think about it too much. Might've been because his own kid is chubbier" Laura shrugged, reaching for Arthur's shoulder and rubbing her palm over his shirt. Arthur would never say it out loud, but he loved when Laura soothed him like this, with gentle touch, and reassuring clarity. Physical touch, which had once meant one of two forms of toxin in his veins, was now wanted, desired, coveted, even. Likewise, displays of affection were no longer met with hostility and weariness, but with joy and thankfulness. When something was genuine, Arthur had discovered, it was easier for him to accept. 

"What do I do with how angry I am, though?" he sincerely asked, at a loss for words, ire aching dully from the back of his throat. Laura helped lessen the overwhelming wave of anger, as did Billy in his own manner, but nothing erased his temper. "Keep it in? Wait until the day I take it out on someone, and create an actual problem for all of us?"

"No. We both know you have a temper, and that's not a bad thing, it's just... you. What I mean is that there are ways of letting off steam that don't involve physical altercations" Laura jokingly responded, convinced that Arthur too had realised how much easier it was said than done. She'd learned to keep her cool under duress for her duties as a lawyer, so the idea of losing it because of some misplaced words was almost comical. That was where she and Arthur were opposites: she was cold and in control at all times, and he was all passion and impulse. Together, they made a good team of parent figures for Billy, who was starting to form his own personality, and a strong one at that. 

"I don't know why you're this good to me" Arthur groaned, hands covering his mouth, leaning back on the sofa with ease, his upper back finding the softness and melting into it, allowing tired bones a moment of calm and peace. "Don't know why you understand, or try to understand. I want to be like you when I grow up" 

"Hey, maybe you can try and be a little more like me, while I try and be a little more like you" Laura happily suggested, though she did have a hard time imagining herself being as outward with her emotions as her partner was. "I'll try to show a little more range of emotion. When it's appropriate, of course" 

"Of course. When are you not absolutely appropriate?" he teased, looking at her through half-lidded eyes, taking in the singular beauty of such a normal moment between a couple. There were many like this, and he still loved each one more than the last. "Alright, maybe when you're playing with Billy, and you make those voices he likes" 

"See, there's something I didn't know: that I find it easier to display emotion around little ones" she admitted, irises softening at the mention of her stepson, who was now as much hers and he was Arthur's. "And Billy is everything to me"


	3. Chapter 3

In looking at her, Polly felt as if she was able to penetrate the layer that insisted on coming between the dead, and the living who missed them and loved them. Her sisters were, in their own right, exquisite beauties, but bore too many resemblances to their mother for the effect to be the same. Her mouth, the upturn of the corners, the arch of her brows, the glint of her eyes... most of all, the demeanour, the posture, that way of saying a million things without speaking a word, of being a threat with no weapons, a bringer of death without a warning. Now that her ways had shifted from gun for hire to those of a farm owner, one could think her mystique had changed, that it had vanished, but it somehow hadn't. Interesting, in Polly's opinion, that some people are born killers, and others become killers by force of circumstance. Which one she herself was Polly still did not know, but she knew what Georgia was. 

"You look like you could use some coffee" Gigi's voice chimed through Polly's small daydream, from her deep contemplation of the tether to Aberama Gold she garnered in the deepest corner of her broken heart. If both of them looked hard enough, they would probably find that the pieces of their hearts which had beaten for the late Aberama laid together somewhere, wherever the man himself was. 

"No, no, I'm awake. I was thinking, that is all" Polly confessed, wishing that thinking was the right word for what she had been doing. "I thought you'd gone with Ada" 

"No, I didn't. She went with Arthur and Laura, I thought they'd be alright. Also, there's... I received a letter from Maria, from Inverness. She wrote to me, asking me to talk to you" Gigi explained, reaching for her pocket. The missive wasn't very long, as Maria made a point of being short and concise. The subject wouldn't be hard to guess, and yet, Polly chose to delay the understanding, to postpone it until there was no way out, until the cards were on the table. 

_Dear Gigi,_

_It still feels strange to address you like this, but I'm getting better at it. Anyway, Eden is as healthy as can be, and my husband (another expression I still am not used to) is as wonderful as ever. The life you have given us is such a blessing, and we are so thankful for it, that we thought you'd be the right person to go to, to ask for a favour. As you know, Finn has been with us ever since Tommy passed, and we are very worried about him: he doesn't sleep, barely eats, has lost weight, and spends his days cleaning the house and the shop. Isaiah believes he is grieving for his brothers, and I do too, but there is something else: he has very complex feelings for you, and it has been hard for him to reconcile those with the loss of Tommy, and of John to a lesser degree. He claims, and I tend to agree, that it isn't love we're talking about, but a deep necessity for protection, for a figure that will protect him and his loved ones, without having him make the sacrifices we both know he had to make. He just wants to be alright, just wants to be at peace._

_Would you be able to help? Do you know how we can help him get better? Maybe Ms. Gray could help? Or Ms. Ada? His brother Arthur?_

_With all my love,_

_Maria_

Polly looked at the letter, written in that small, neat handwriting. There was so much love in those words, the amount of love that only a mother could understand and put on paper. Besides, there was the elephant in the room, finally transformed into a reality that was no longer unspoken and hidden in half truths: Finn was in the kind of state that only had two outcomes, neither of them good, neither of them conducive to happiness, to a normal and fulfilled life. 

"I thought... I thought he was in love with you. Despite him saying he can't, and... I thought that was what it was, mainly because there is no one on this earth capable of meeting you and not loving you, at least just a little bit" Polly chuckled, though her hands trembled, and her eyes darkened. "But this makes more sense" 

"Regardless of anything else, this is serious: he isn't well, and something must be done. Whether it's up to me, whether it's something Maria and Isaiah themselves can do, I don't know. What I do know is that I do not wish to have my wife lose another brother, or another family member. I've said it once, and I'll say it as much as I need to: Ada will not be put through that if I can help it" Gigi exploded, going as far as losing her temper and banging her fist on the table, ire flowing from her as rays radiate from the sun itself. Terrible, terrifying, biblical, and entire superhuman, Gigi was outstanding even when she lost herself. 

"Of course not, Finn won't..." Polly stammered, losing her train of thought for just a moment, enthralled in the display of magnificence in front of her. "He needs to be of use. He needs purpose, he needs..." 

The light bulb went off in her brain, and the pieces fell into place. Following suit, an image, crystal clear and almost surreal in its vivacity: Finn, standing in front of her, tall and proud, dignified, more handsome than any of his brothers before him. His mission was obvious, his joy evident, and his eyes clear, as he followed Gigi's every move, learning from her how to do what she did, how to keep the balance between utter and complete power in her city, and a safe life for her family. Of course, he would know he couldn't be her, would know that the pursuit of mirroring her was useless, as it had been with Tommy; he was at peace with that, too, and found his talents in aiding her, in understanding, in studying, and in living without the remorse that had become his second layer of skin. 

"He needs to come here, and needs you to show him how you control this city, without jeopardising this home and your family" Polly ended up saying, eyes wide with hope, with the certainty that her plan would work. 

"I control this city because I understand it, it's not... people know what would happen if they were to do bad things, people know what... Polly, I don't know how to say it, but people know what I will do to them if they challenge me, if they try and hurt honest people. I don't want Finn to see it, I don't want anyone to see it" Gigi admitted, looking down at her hands as if she could project the blood on them, see the drops create rivers that ran to her forearms. "Whatever Tommy had him do scarred him enough"

"Show him how you keep us safe, then. Show him how to look after this house, how to be of use to the kids and to Ada and to you" Polly suggested, knowing in her heart this was right, that Finn would thrive in this new life she was constructing for him in her head. "He doesn't need to know and do it all, he just needs to be here and do what needs to be done here. It would even free you up a little, to spend some more time with Ada and the kids"


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone seemed to arrive to Swansea by train, and it had been like that for as long as the railway reached the city. The smoke and ruckus of it only made the mystique of the Welsh city increase. Besides, the people who arrived knew that the city was ruled by someone who was so incredibly powerful any semblance of crime would be met with extreme force, swift and devoid of any mercy. This woman, this very young and exquisite-looking woman was the reason why Finn Shelby was back to the city where his siblings now resided, after spending the first few months of his grieving process in Scotland; and none of this escaped his mind, overactive with anticipation. The mere thought of seeing Ada, Arthur, and the kids was incredible, made his heart jump with joy and happiness. Polly, too, was a beacon of excitement for him,, being able to hug her, to kiss her cheek, and to be welcomed into her arms and the light she still held, even after everything she'd been through. The woman who would be her mentor was, in her own right, someone Finn was looking forward to seeing, too. The only problem with that was not knowing how he would react to her presence, given that she had an effect on him that was not entirely welcome, and situated somewhere between extreme discomfort, and overwhelming despair. 

"So? How are they?" Polly asked, waking Finn up from his musings. In the blink of an eye, and without knowing very well how, he was now at the house, at his sister Ada's house, sitting properly in a chair, with a teacup in his hands. 

"Hm? They?" he asked, properly wondering where the previous part of his day had gone. "Oh, you mean Maria, and Isaiah? They're well, and the baby is growing up really fast. She's already five months old, and she looks like a doll" 

"Oh, that's so good to know. Elizabeth is walking already, and Karl is almost a man" Polly responded, needlessly, as Finn could see them with his own eyes, playing in the living room. Karl was showing his sister a picture book, and Ada sat on the sofa, looking at the both of them, eyes sparkling with adoration. By her side, Gigi wasn't any less taken by the kids, her hand on Ada's thigh, an absent minded smile on her sharp features. "They grow up so quickly, don't they? And so do you, and Michael" 

"Me and Michael are grown men, aunt Pol" Finn stated, sipping on the chamomile tea for lack of a better occupation. He did wish he was still a child, sleeping with his head on her lap, with no worries in the world except for what to play with once he woke up. He didn't understand anything, back then, but he was fine with it; now, he understood even less, but it hurt, it affected him, it... it changed him. 

"No, you're not. You're not, even though you had to be, once. I want to believe you're still my babies, and I want to wrap my arms around you both, and not let go until the world is a safer place" she smiled, looking into the bottom of her cup, and examining the leaves that coated it. It was still too early to tell what the outcome would be, as she still had about to sips to go, but she was experienced enough to know what would end up on there. 

"I wish you could. I wish I was Karl's age, and I wish Ada and Gigi were my parents" Finn admitted, gutted for having to admit to something so outlandish. Carefully, the two of them had come to understand that there were things they could not change, but that didn't mean they couldn't play pretend. In fact, it would be stupid not to, reckless even, to forego painting a picture so perfect. "How is Michael?"

"I assume he's at the jazz club... he's become... a fan of jazz" Polly explained, her voice neither here nor there about it. "Or, as I suspect, of a lover of jazz music" 

"He has a sweetheart" Finn concluded, wishing he didn't have to know anything about his cousin. Despite asking he wished Polly would brush off the question; needless to say, a mother would never let go of an opportunity to speak about her son, and of her son's life. 

"He has a sweetheart... and, as it turns out, my son seems to... lean toward... saxophone players" Polly clarified, unwittingly sucking on her lips, acquiring a sour expression. "I sometimes go days without seeing him, and I know he's got his own life, his own flat, his own job. But I also know he doesn't have the strength to deal with life, and that he's been too sheltered to know how to deal with what happens when you simply... live on your own terms" 

The word she wanted to say did not come out, but her eyes drifted toward their own example of Michael's preferences, sitting side by side on the couch, fingers intertwined, souls more than shared, but made for each other, too. Finn didn't need Polly to say anything, as her expression said it all, speaking volumes of the worry, fear, and hesitation. Regardless of anything else, Michael was her son, and Polly didn't want him to get gawked at on the street, didn't want him to hide, didn't want him to be kept from marrying and having his children. 

"Do you think it might just be... temporary?" Finn inquired, the softest hint of compassion permeating through his stuttering discourse. "Maybe he is being coerced, as awful as it sounds, or..." 

"No, he's not. I saw them, clear as day, and there was no coercion" 

"You saw them" 

"I saw them. He's from Chinese descent, his family is known around these parts for handling the business in the docks. Gigi knows them well, and knew their youngest son is... well, is what she is, too. She needed Michael with her to be sure the deal they offered was good and sound, and that's how they met" Polly recounted, finding it difficult to express just how impossible it had been to breathe when the two men laid eyes on each other. 

"What Gigi is" Finn echoed, refusing to lift his eyes from the table. "What she is, is Ada's" 

"I know. And Ada is hers, too. Like she was Freddie's, and maybe a little more, too. I don't know how to explain, and I don't think I ever will, but when two people meet, and they're right for each other, nothing else matters that much, does it? As much as we sometimes wish it was different, or that they chose a path that was easier for them, in this day and age" 

"I wish I could love her, aunt Pol. I wish that was it, I wish I was in love with her, instead of wanting to be her. It would be easier" Finn confessed, as solemnly as he would if he were standing in front of a priest. 

"How easy would it be to love a woman who is in love with someone else? Don't you think that's the kind of hell you wouldn't wish upon anyone, let alone yourself?" Polly asked, grateful that she didn't know how that felt. Of course, many did know, and maybe Arthur and Laura knew better than anyone. Linda had loved herself and her religion more than anyone else, whereas Laura had loved a man who, in turn, loved her sister more. 

"Anything is easier than looking at her, knowing I want what she wants, knowing I want to breathe in the same air as she does, speak her words and think her thoughts" 


	5. Chapter 5

She sat right there, in front of him, rolling a cigarette on the tabletop. Once done, she fixed her eyes on his, and did not look away when lighting the work of art, and putting it between her lips. Finn remembered that he also smoked at some point, although all his thoughts and habits were far away from his mind. A drink, maybe, or a mere glass of water might also be pleasant, as a source of activity, as something to do, something to distract him from that gaze. Finn knew that he should have prepared when Georgia asked to speak to him; but he was caught unawares, and simply sat down at the dinner table, and waited for her to say what she wanted to tell him. 

"You don't smoke these, do you?" she inquired, for what seemed to Finn like the hundredth time. Finn shook his head from side to side, having to remind his lungs to process the thick air around the two of them. "Why not?"

"They taste like peppermint" he explained, a confession that made Gigi let out a chuckle, and inhale deeply, for an absurd amount of time. "I hate peppermint" 

"I reckon that's fair enough" Gigi shrugged, exhaling the smoke with as much patience as she had inhaled it. Surely she had the lung capacity to cross the channel without coming up for air, he estimated, the room filled with a very strong smell of herbs. "Polly told me there was something I could do for you, and if Polly says, I will most likely obey" 

"That makes two of us" the youngest Shelby agreed, happy to have some common ground with the woman in front of him. In fact, the woman was younger than him, regardless of commanding the respect of an elder. "I suspect Maria put her up to that" 

"I am sure Maria put her up to that. Unfortunately... or fortunately, I don't know... Maria is a very good soul, with a pure heart. And, just like with Polly, I tend to agree with Maria, and obey when she tells me I should do something" she stated, bizarrely holding the cigarette between her pinkie and ring fingers. "You should do the same. And that is exactly why I am here, why you are, too" 

"I obey them, and I obey you, too" Finn let out, the same way he would if he was uttering a vow in front of God. "I don't know who I would be without obeying someone" 

"Oh, trust me lad, I know that very well. Might I remind you that I too am the youngest child, and I too lost a brother?" Gigi retorted, smirking quite sadly, and dragging her hair over her left shoulder, lost in deep thought. A moment later, she snapped out of it, and stared Finn down once more. "I'll even go further, and say that, as a Romani woman, not obeying every single person around me was never an option" 

Finn reflected upon that, and didn't take long to agree. As sheltered as his life was, it was nothing in comparison to the servitude women were expected to endure. Not even their bodies were their own, but belonged to their husbands, to carry children, and to raise them until their deaths. A Shelby man had duties, had tasks that were too much to bear at times, but one thing was for certain: they were the aggressor, more often than they were the victim. 

"Not anymore" Finn praised, crossing his arms in front of his chest, raising a defiant eyebrow. "Not you" 

"Not me. And if not me, not anymore, why would you feel the need to obey blindly, when you too can do something for yourself? Decide whose opinions to take into account, decide what to do when you wake up tomorrow" Gigi encouraged, leaning forward ever so slightly, shortening the distance between them. "Do not, for a second, think of me like you thought of your brother Thomas" 

"It's not... not that, it's... I want to be like you..."

"You're trying to tell me you didn't spend your life trying to be him? Or, at the very least, trying to be for him what his other brothers were? Be of use, help with the business, be brave" she called out, going right to the brink of mocking, no mercy when throwing honest (yet harsh) facts at his already blushed face. Finn was anything but used to that sort of discourse, but he knew to stay quiet, to absorb the point before passing judgement, to process it well without reacting too soon. "Just like I wanted to be Bonnie, and to make my father money, be his companion" 

"Why weren't you?" Finn asked, curiosity overtaking his better judgement, powerful even when he knew he should be quiet. The answer was pretty simple, though, and he didn't need to put it into words for Gigi to accept that they both were on the same page about that particular matter. "Do you resent him? Them?" 

"No. They were as dear to me as my life, as are my sisters, as was my mum, as are Polly, Ada, the children. Point is, I know what it's like to live in someone's shadow. And I also know how to rid myself of it, how to... well, to be independent. Doesn't take a fucking genius to look around and see just how well I did for myself with that as a motivation" she all but gloated, which would mark the first time Finn ever heard her do it. Even stranger, he started to notice she was human, started to see her less as God and more as a mortal... which had been her goal, no doubt. Tommy had never done anything like this, never got down to earth, never sat Finn down and admitted his shortcomings, his biases. Every time Tommy spoke in Finn's direction, it was always to demand his kid brother become more like him. "Jokes aside, I know how important your family is for you, and I appreciate how much you want to protect and provide for them. There's a way to do that, and remain your own person. I hope you know that" 

"I still need to learn that, then" Finn asked, sticking out his chin, in a clear sign he was ready, willing, hungry to learn what it meant standing on his own. "Teach me" 


	6. Chapter 6

"You said something to him. He looks a little less miserable" Ada stated, none of her phrases a question, though they could be turned into one should she choose. No one else had heard the conversation between Finn and Gigi, but the outcome had been hopeful: the young man looked slightly more lively, if not positively happier, which lightened the mood of the household, children included. 

"I told him to quit looking for someone to order him around, that's all" Gigi responded, hands tucked behind her head, eyes closing under the heaviness of her tiredness. Contributing was also the tingly sensation on her legs, up to her stomach and chest, given the activities she and Ada had dedicated the last hour to. Somewhat less spent, Ada could feel the heaviness of her limbs, but she hadn't been working at a farm like her partner had. 

"Hm, I could see him needing to hear that. He is so young, has seen so much" Ada sighed loudly, refusing to go down the rabbit hole of putting herself in Finn's shoes, not allowing herself to even think of what her kid brother had gone through under Tommy. This new life, the life she so desperately wanted for him, seemed to be inching closer and closer every day, the light at the end of the tunnel widening. "Hell, even Arthur is happier than ever, with Laura"

"Yes, exactly" Gigi nodded, unsure of where Ada was going with these remarks. "I was thinking the first thing he ought to do is go to the estate, do some heavy work there, the kind that doesn't let you think of anything else. Then, once his head is clearer, I'll see what we can do" 

"Sounds like a plan" Ada agreed, motioning to grab her book, but giving up halfway there, knowing she would fall asleep the moment she opened it to the correct page. The moment didn't go unnoticed, amplified by the all-knowing eyes of the woman who was all too happy to observe every single movement Ada ever did, and was able to decode them all. "Gigi" 

"Ada"

"That's not funny" Ada retorted, knowing all too well that the smirk meant Gigi was anticipating the following words, or at least the general topic. Ada only got that look in her eye when she wanted a specific thing, which was some peace and quiet for a couple of days. "I was thinking that we could go and spend some time at the farmhouse? Just the two of us?" 

"Why not, eh? The kids will be in good hands" Gigi acquiesced, sucking in her cheeks to not laugh. Unfortunately for her, the bones and hollows of her face structure made any such movement obvious, even in the dim lighting of the sole lampshade. "I'll have to go and give it a clean tomorrow, though, a bit of a once over" 

"Get Finn to do it" Ada suggested, though she wasn't too sure she'd ever seen Finn do anything remotely similar to house chores. He still had time to learn, though, as he had only arrived to Swansea. "He could use the practice" 

"I might do that" 

* * *

Billy was now sleeping, and there was no reason why he should be watched by his father, and his stepmother. He wasn't sick, wasn't breathing incorrectly, nothing; but both Arthur and Laura were positively transfixed by the sight, and seemed to be hypnotised by the little angel sleeping in his crib. It was a nice crib, too, the one Laura had gotten him at her home, where he had his own bedroom. Truly, the silence and sheer innocence of the sight in front of them was more soothing than whisky in the middle of winter, and it wasn't easy to look away, even if the reality wasn't all that terrible. 

"You make the most precious babies" Laura exhaled, her whole face the picture of serenity. "I never thought I would care so much for such a tiny person" 

"I didn't, either" Arthur echoed, wrapping his arm around his partner's waist, encouraging her to lay her head on his shoulder. She mostly kept from doing that to not stain his garments with makeup, but every now and then, at night, when she was fresh-faced... it was too hard to resist. "I'm ready to bet me and you would make precious babies, too" 

"Eh... Not sure I want to risk it. I would birth demons, most likely. My sister has" Laura shrugged, not giving the thought the time of day after spending one single afternoon with her niece and nephews, she had vowed to remain childless. Well, that was until Billy... but he did not have any of her blood, thankfully. 

"Demons with very beautiful hair" Arthur chuckled, silently enough to not wake his son up. "No babies, then?" 

"No, I don't think so. I might change my mind though" Laura explained, reaching up to tuck away a strand of Arthur's hair off his forehead. "You look tired, but you seem to be gaining a bit of weight. I was getting worried" 

"I told you, I'm fine, no need to bloody worry" 

"Oh, come on. You were underweight, and you know it. Of course I was worried, you were eating next to nothing after..." 

"After Tommy died"


	7. Chapter 7

The nights were foggy, and the windows easily became clouded with the vapour of breathing, and cigarette smoke. Every room in the house, though hid from the outside with heavy curtains, was like a small world in itself, with its own environment, purpose, and sense of self. The wallpaper told a story, the furniture recorded different words, and the air itself condensed around the essence of each relationship: mothers and children, a loving aunt and uncle with their niece and nephew, lovers, best friends... homes can be everything or nothing at all; and this one leaned toward the first option. What seemed to stay outside though, was hostility, and a good share of secrets didn't cross the front door either; despite this, one of the inhabitants of the household held with him a secret that he thought he'd let go of, but not quite as it turned out. 

"I don't understand what you mean when you say you saw Tommy and Alfie Solomons. Isn't that... I don't know, normal? Were they not friends?" Gigi asked, looking at Ada across the table and furrowing her brow. Ada, who knew her kid brother a bit better, thought she had understood him, but she too struggled with the distance between words heard, and words accepted. 

"And you.. you are saying this now. Now, that they're both gone" Polly pointed out, as she did not remember her nephew Finn being prompted to say anything of the sort. "Now, that we cannot ask them whether this is true" 

"You said you never understood how come I was able to be away from Birmingham so much when Tommy was... alive. And this is the truth: I blackmailed him into letting me and Isaiah do whatever we wanted to" Finn explained, as well as someone who had blurted out a deeply hidden truth could. In fact, he'd intended for the sight of his brother Tommy and Alfie together to follow him, unspoken and secretive, to his grave. In this parlour, though, and with generous quantities of Gigi's whisky in his system, it had just... come out. And now it lingered, smack dab in the middle of the carpet, staring him down just like the three women did, with accusatory expressions and even more prevalent doubt. 

"I don't know what to say" Gigi ended up admitting, the first of them to recover from the shock. "I truly had no idea they... well. I commend you for using it as leverage, though; very smart, and lucky, too. For you and Isaiah" 

"Right. Right, I guess it was. I don't think i believe it, either, not until I confronted him about it, and I could see it in his eyes" Finn responded, deciding to look at his hands instead of focusing on Gigi. She no longer had as strong an effect as she used to, but she still had something about her that made him deeply uncomfortable, something troubling and insurmountable. 

"Do you think they were... in love?" Ada asked, so naively Polly's eyebrows shot up. No one needed to say anything for all those present in the room to think the same, in perfect unison: that Tommy Shelby had never been in love with anyone since the war.

"I don't. I know one thing: Tom truly admired Solomons, and whatever it was that existed between them, I don't think it was love" Polly opinionated, lacking better words, something between profound kinship and matched intensity. "There were rumours about Solomons, but Tommy..." 

"What, you never thought Tom and Michael played for the same team?" Ada ironically spat, with more disdain than she had hoped for. "I'm sorry Polly, but..." 

"Sorry for what? Maybe devious sexual choices run in the family" Gigi joked, knowing that if she was going to regret that cheeky statement, then so would everyone else. "I mean, I didn't know we tiptoed around the very thing that you and me have" 

"And we're not, it's just... Tommy" Ada concluded, letting out the air in her lungs. "I always saw him as a playboy, as a man who could have all the women he wanted. And I know very well that maybe he enjoyed the company of both men and women, but..." 

"It's unexpected, that's all" Polly added, completing the incomplete sentence. "Unexpected" 

"It killed me, at the time. I didn't know how to... how to deal with it, and I guess I still don't. I tried to understand, but then I got to the point where I started to think I was losing my mind and imagining things. If Isaiah hadn't been with me, and saw the same thing, I would have lost my mind" Finn confessed, the weight lifting off his shoulders for what seemed like the last time. "Doesn't mean I loved him any less, he was my brother, he was my boss, my... he was kin, and I miss him every day" 

"I do, too. I miss everything about him, even the smell of the cigarettes he smoked" Ada smiled, nostalgia transparent in her voice. "I miss his voice, his laughter, his smile before he went to France. And I miss John, just as much" 

"I never thought they'd die. I used to think all of you were invincible" Finn sighed, his eyes stinging with warm water droplets. "When John died I thought I would die too, I felt like I was going to die" 

"I did, too" Polly concurred, sadly remembering how hard she had tried to hold herself together at John's funeral. "I still think a part of me died when that sweet boy was killed" 


	8. Chapter 8

Lights out, everyone beneath the sheets, and he stillness of slumber took over the home. The sweetness of a baby's dreams, paired with the kindness of being held by a lover, was everything that anyone could ever want: innocence, and love. Their lives, however, had their fair amount of anything very dissimilar to that scenario. Arthur stirred often, his body curled up into a ball, fighting off cold that wasn't real; Ada woke up with wet eyelashes, without remembering tears forming in her eyes; Finn whispered apologies in his sleep, and begged to a being who couldn't hear. On the other end of the spectrum, Georgia slept in the stillest of manners, without the flutter of a fair eyelash, or the shiver of a nightmare. The absence of dreams, similar to the absence of morality, was a trait which was equal parts a blessing and a curse. For herself, it was neither. However, she would have liked to dream of her lost loved ones, or even of her sisters, her nieces and nephews. Esmeralda was expecting her third child already, and Gigi was yet to meet the youngest. 

"Gi, aren't you going to work today?" Karl asked, a couple of minutes before seven in the morning, when only him and Georgia were awake, having their breakfast. 

"No, it's Sunday" the young woman shrugged, wishing every day was Sunday, and wishing she could stay within her home forever. This was the curse of Sundays: they made her particular brand of melancholia make itself known, that sadness that wandered through her veins and settled in her bones. For very long, she didn't have it, it went away; but today, on a Sunday, it had returned with aching force. 

"Oh, it is. I had forgotten" Karl admitted, relaxing against his chair with a deep sigh, as if he was tired of being a child. "Will you play rugby with me, then?" 

"Yeah, sure" Georgia agreed, drinking the coffee, swallowing it down and feeling the leftover particles of the pot scratch her throat. To her surprise, this was exactly when Finn walked into the room, in shirt sleeves and the usual bags under his eyes. 

"Good morning" the three of them echoed, in varying degrees of excitement. Karl, for one, was elated to have two of his favourite people to himself, but the discomfort Finn felt for his sister-in-law's presence made the predicament less exciting. Finally, Gigi herself simply welcomed the boy with cup of coffee, extended with the willing hand of a mentor to a troubled squire.

"What made you get up this early?" Gigi asked, watching Finn sit down on the chair furthest from her own. "Didn't sleep well?"

"I don't think I did, no. I uh... thought I had some noise outside my window" Finn blurted out, opting for looking inside his cup, and not to the person talking to him. "There was nothing there, but I couldn't stay asleep"

"I sometimes hear noises outside, too, and when I go to check on it, there's nothing there. My mum used to say that when it happens, it's because the good spirits guarding us when we sleep forgot to be silent "Gigi laughed, wiping her bottom lip with the cuff of her sleeve. The memory of her mother brought the closest thing to an angelic glow any human was capable of displaying, and Finn could almost picture the scene she was describing in his head. 

"So you remember your mother. I don't" Finn shrugged, only then noticing Karl had left the room, to go about any duty or distraction, before the promised game of rugby. "My sister and brothers told me she was the most beautiful and kindest mother in the world, and I can almost believe them"

"Wouldn't surprise me if she was" 

"Me neither" 

"I wonder if our mothers have met, wherever they are" Gigi mused, which was very unlike her. Spirituality and superstition were traits she didn't absorb from her tradition, but as she grew older and more grounded, he found herself wishing her mother would be by her side in person, to see and meet everything and everyone her daughters had achieved. Nevertheless, it was nice to know that there had been someone to welcome Bonnie when he passed. 

"Me too. I hope John and Tommy are with her, and that they're finally resting" Finn replied, gritting his teeth so that he didn't cry. "I don't... I don't believe in God, but... but maybe there is a heaven, and they're all there" 

"I think Ada told Karl that's where his dad is. And if she believes it, it makes it easier for me to believe it too. As for God, whoever He may be, if he even exists..."

There was a sudden noise of tapping on a window, faint, but audible. Then, it came again, and again, disproving the possibility of it being a twig or a random pebble led astray by the wind. Both their first reactions was to reach for hidden weapons, carried even inside the house, before even getting up from the chairs and going to investigate. The sounds came from one of the windows by the door, which made it all the more bizarre why the person outside didn't knock or even ring the bell. Slowly, Finn looked outside, and the vision before him made him furrow his brow: a very young female, in no way attired to withstand the snow which had started to fall heavily, arms crossed in front of her, over some sort of burden she was holding against herself. 

"It's a girl" Finn informed, confusing Gigi to no end. "She's... I don't know who she is" 

With that being said, Gigi opened the door suddenly, deciding to investigate who it was that came to her door in the middle of what was starting to look a lot like a blizzard. However, before any questions could be asked, the stranger collapse into the hall, her knees succumbing to an invisible ailment. Her hair was covered in snow, and her visible forearms bright red from the cold. In the lights of the home, her face did not look any more familiar to either of them, especially contorted as it was by an extreme amount of pain, impossible to fake. 

"Finn, get Polly" Gigi ordered, regaining her wits much faster than her brother-in-law. Although this was a stranger, and threats were to be met with extreme force, there was something that made her stop and show mercy, show kindness. 

In the blink of an eyes, Polly Gray came running down the stairs, trying to wake herself up, startled by the frantic plea her youngest nephew had made: that she come down immediately, as there was a girl in the hall who needed help, according to Georgia. As for who this girl was, and why Gigi had allowed her to enter the home, neither of them understood; but they trusted the keeper of the home, who was a good enough judge of character. 

"Georgia, what... oh!" Polly exclaimed, unsure of how she stayed upward. "I don't think we should move her. Finn, go fetch some towels, all the blankets you can find, and a big bowl of boiled water" 

With Gigi's help, they worked to get the strange girl on her back, head propped up by some sofa pillows. She kept trying to speak, but wave after wave of suffering kept her from saying a single word, or reach for whatever she was trying to reach. Once Finn returned with all the equipment he was asked, Polly got to work, hoping and praying the state of the poor creature wasn't so dire that she could not do a final effort. 

"Look at me, girl. Look at me. You need to push when the next pain comes, you hear me? You need to push very hard, as hard as you can" Polly urged, with a little less kindness than she would usually use for a woman in labour. Her worry was, however, too great to allow for finesse: the girl was freezing, and God knew the condition she would be in, and for how long she would be able to be strong.

To her credit, the stranger did a much better job than would be expected, closing her eyes, clenching her fists, and pushing as hard as humanly possible, determined to do as she was told, to the best of her sparse ability. Both Gigi and Finn stayed close, in case Polly needed them, but she seemed to have everything under absolute control, her eyes moving quickly from side to side, assessing all variables of a complex equation. 

"That's it, the head is almost out. One more. One more, and it will be all over" Polly encouraged, praying all the while, that mother and child would survive this uncommon ordeal. Sadly, the one push wasn't enough, and neither was the next one. By the third contraction, the girl couldn't keep her eyes open, and her limbs were starting to go limp. Somehow, even then, she managed to pull strength from somewhere, and a screaming, crying baby girl arrived into the world, with ten fingers and ten toes. 

"Aishe. Aishe" the girl managed to whisper, eyes blown wide at the sight of her child. Polly took her time cutting the cord, and by the time the babe was ready for her mother's arms, the poor woman could only give the faintest of smiles, before she closed her eyes and collapsed. The baby kept crying, even while Gigi brought the smelling salts to try and get the new mother to wake up, which she did in her own time, struggling to get up, and promptly being discouraged from doing such a thing. 

"Who are you" Gigi asked, sat on the floor, hidden behind her bent knees. Within a split second, the lady of the house had gone from amateur nurse to the source of radiating power, her eyes on the floor, refusing to look in the direction of the guests. Even her question wasn't a question, but more of a demand, encapsulating a fury that was so might she was shaking. "Why are you here"

"He told me here was safe. For if... for when the..." the girl stammered, shivering even more intensely than before. "He told me you would..." 

"He did, did he? He..." Gigi whispered, closing her eyes, still refusing to look at the girl, or even at the small babe who was now peacefully nursing. "Your name?" 

"Violet" the girl informed, tears falling down her cheeks and onto the carpeted floor. "I didn't mean to arrive and... for her to arrive so soon, but I wanted to...to be close to someone who..." 

With what was a herculean effort, one everyone could see and even sense, Gigi lifted her eyes from the ground, and opened them, finally looking in the direction of Violet and her newborn daughter. Equally as slowly, she moved closer to mother and child. The moment her blue eyes laid on the baby, her shoulders began to shake, and her hands laid as softly as possible on the bundle of blankets, arms enveloping the two figures as if she could protect them from all harm with her body. 

Ada had never seen Georgia cry. Watching it happen was more than she could take, but truth be told, she had to do it. Even more, she needed to hold her wife, needed to hold her, needed to simply be there for her, in the midst of something so gigantic it was bigger than the tides, bigger than anything else Ada had ever experienced in a very long time. Violet, now sat on a sofa, holding on to her child, cried silently as well. The baby was silent, and her sweet eyes were focused on her mother, like a small guardian angel. 

"She looks like him, too" Polly smiled, calm in the face of turmoil. "So much, even the curls" 

"She does. I knew she would. I just knew she would. You look like your daddy, don't you, my love?" Violet cooed to her little one, who replied with a silent stare, as if she knew exactly what her mother was saying, as if she understood. 

"So... so that's... Bonnie's daughter" Finn managed to ask, after being as antsy as a toddler, wanting to ask it, wanting to make sense of it all. He could see it, actually, could see the likeness between the little one and Georgia's late brother Bonnie. 


	9. Chapter 9

Aishe was their mother's name, as was their mother's the simple gold band Violet wore on her right ring finger. Georgia confirmed all of it in bouts of calmness, which didn't last much at all. She had been able to hold her niece, even smiled at her and let her squish her finger, but then she broke down again. Ada no longer knew what to say or do to calm her down, and was even scared to ask what could be done to help. The story of how Aishe came into the picture didn't help, either, as there was no dry eyes in the room. 

"I don't think my parents ever found out I was at that match. It was one of my friends who thought it would be the rebellious thing to do. And I... I think I took one look at him and couldn't look away anymore" Violet shrugged, so in love with a dead man she glistened at the mention of him. "Never thought he'd noticed me too, until me and my friend left and he came up to us. The rest, I... I wish I could remember more, but it's all a blur. Once he went to Birmingham, I went too, but I stayed in a hotel, in the city centre. That's where I was when I heard that... well, that he passed. And also where I was when my parents said I was no longer welcome at their home" 

"So they knew? About the baby?" Ada asked, seeing a little of herself and Freddie in that story, in that simple tale of something no one else knew but the ones inside it. "And if they did know..." 

"They didn't, they don't. Bonnie did. He knew, I think, when we... well, when she was conceived, I guess" Violet blushed violently, and with her Finn, who was the only one specifically uncomfortable with the subject of baby-making. "He said to me 'if anything happens to me and I can't take care of our child, you go to my sister in Wales'. I didn't want to come here, I thought I could... for the two of us, but I... it ended up not... I don't... I was able to make do for the nine months, but when I did the maths and felt the first contraction, I had to... I couldn't bear the thought of being alone. I've no family that will take me in, so I came here" 

"Of course. And here is where you should be" Gigi managed to get out, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, swallowing the knowledge of how it was Bonnie died, hoping and praying that the mother of his child did not know any of the details, vowing that the babe would be none the wiser as to how her father had passed. "He never said anything. Not a fucking word..." 

"I truly am very sorry for just showing up here, but I somehow thought I would have the time to explain, that you knew what I was doing here" Violet started, though it was of no consequence whether Gigi knew beforehand or not; if the ring she knew by heart wasn't enough to prove the young woman's story, the child she held to her breast certainly was. 

"No need to be sorry. Shit, I need to stop fucking crying, what a bloody mess" Gigi chuckled, regaining a little of herself. "I uh... well, I guess I never told Bonnie I'm... otherwise inclined, I reckon. So he didn't have to tell me I was going to have a new niece" 

"I hope I'm not being indelicate, but he told me quite a lot about you and your sisters... and he did mention that he didn't think you were inclined to the usual family path" Violet stated, not a bit of judgement, but a good dose of amusement. "He spoke a lot about you three, he loved you very, very much" 

"Yeah, well... we loved him" Gigi admitted, widening her eyes to stop herself from crying. "Shit, alright. I'm alright" 

"I've some tissues, if you need any" Ada guaranteed, relaxing a little into her chair, now that Georgia seemed to be processing the situation a little better. Her hand on top of her partner's was now a little less conspicuous, which provided a good dose of relief. "I promise she isn't always this emotional"

"I really am not" Gigi acquiesced, managing to laugh at her love's little joke. "I'm usually far better at keeping myself together" 

"You are, but I love you either way" Ada assured, kissing her partner's lips without a care in the world. It was so delicious to see her smile again, that it didn't really mind what anyone was going to say, including Gigi herself. As for Violet, she didn't seem phased at all by the small demonstrations of affection, but rather calmly watched over the small family scene, feeding her child without as much as a wince.

"I don't know if you know who I am" Polly inquired, half-focused on the baby, half-focused on the young girl named Violet. "I was engaged to Aberama, Bonnie's father, before he..." 

"Oh my god, Mrs. Gold, I am so sorry... I didn't know, I am so sorry" Violet gasped, sitting up straighter, truly terrified that she had been offensive in her ignorance. 

"No, I... I'm not Mrs. Gold, we didn't have the time to get married before Aberama passed" Polly explained, taking a deep breath of her own. "I don't know if you ever met him" 

"I didn't have that pleasure, no" Violet shook her head, slowly propping Aishe up onto her shoulder, and tapping her back softly. "I'm really sorry for your loss" 

"And I for yours" Polly returned, not knowing what else to say. The husband she had lost when she was younger was of no consequence, and she was quite used to loss when Aberama was killed. It didn't make it any less crushing, but to imagine being left with a newborn baby at an age as young as Violet's... what was she, eighteen? Nineteen? Seventeen?

"Oh, thank you" Violet said, looking down at the ground. "I don't know what to say, still. I don't know how I feel, even. It's all a bit...I guess, overwhelming"


	10. Chapter 10

Violet had declined to stay at Georgia's home for more than strictly necessary to get back on her feet. She was eager to work, eager to build a life for her and her daughter Aishe. With that, she did accept the help of Ada's connections, and managed to secure a job at the library, tending to the books that needed repairing. It didn't pay very much, but it did pay for a small studio, and for fresh food. Logically, and given the time she herself spent at the library, Ada was the one who got to know this newcomer best, starting with motherhood tips. For the first months, Violet would take her work home and do it there to tend to the baby, but Aishe was now almost six months old, and stayed with Maria Santiago's mother during the day. 

"She doesn't fuss much, and got used to nursing very well" Violet explained, her voice low but secure, in the little corner behind the library's reception hall. "I used to worry so much about having enough milk for her, but hasn't been a problem yet" 

"I had the exact same fear with Elizabeth and Karl" Ada admitted, taking a chair and sitting by Violet's side, as there was no one requiring assistance yet. "And does she like staying with Maria's mum?"

"She loves it there, she loves all the other children around her" Violet cheerfully informed, taking a bit of tape to take care of a loose page. It was clear that her daughter was the apple of her eye, and the source of the most amazing kind of pride. "I always fancied myself more of an extrovert, and she takes after me"

"I think you would do perfectly at reception. Once you know the library better, we could use the help" Ada urged, knowing she would tire of customer service sooner rather than later, though she did love the books. 

"I would love that, I was thinking of asking you to do something like that, as a trial, but I have a lot to learn" Violet nodded, smiling at Ada before focusing her eyes on the task at hand. "I like books, too. I love reading, and I was practising with Bonnie when we had some time. He wasn't very good, but he was getting better" 

"Do you have a favourite?" 

"That is the hardest question! Victor Hugo I really like, but the Bronte sisters are also contenders. I could never pick just one book. Do you have a favourite?" 

"I'll have to agree with you, picking just one is difficult" Ada agreed, chuckling lightly. This happened often: she would have something in common with Violet, they would talk about it, and time would go by in a flash. The young girl was easy to talk to, and had the sort of demeanour that was equal measures airy and profound. In other words, she had the gift of sweetness, and of making any subject interesting and engaging. "I like Victor Hugo, too. My wife hated everything he ever wrote, she thinks it's overly complicated"

"I can see why she would, Ms. Gold seems like a more practical kind of person" Violet agreed, wishing to have the time to get to know Georgia better. Hopefully, she would have plenty of time. "I have seen her read the magazine about the farm animals"

"She cannot get enough of that damn thing. It keeps her entertained, and apparently helps at her own farm. My own brother, Finn, is starting to get really into it, too" Ada shrugged, looking down at her own two feet, and then up at Violet. Surely six months was not enough for the sweet girl to get over the loss of the father of her child, but once she did, maybe Finn would be a good match for her...?

"The two of them get along so well, don't they? Like peas in a pod" Violet giggled, in a pure tone, with no malice or intention. "They look similar, too" 

"I can see it, too. Finn really wants to be like Gi, and I think he's managing" Ada confided, going over the room to see if everyone was following the rules. "We feared for him for so long, it's a relief to see him healthy" 

"I'm sorry to hear about that. He does seem to be doing very well" Violet assured, going over the six months she had known Ada's brother for. He wasn't as slim as he was when they had first met, and smiled more, too. 

* * *

Gigi marched into her own living room, and stopped in front of Finn, who had, until then, been innocently filling up his cup with some scotch. Without a word, Georgia had managed to make him stop in his tracks, and stare at her in fear he was about to be mauled to death. 

"What did I do?" he immediately asked, wondering if he had fucked up royally enough to warrant her wrath. Gigi's face was completely blank at the moment, but who knew what was going on in her head?

"Wrong. Ask me what it is I want you to do" 

"What do you want me to do?" 

"A glass for me, if you don't mind" Georgia asked, bursting into laughter out of the blue. Finn could not believe his heart had stopped for a minute, just because of her stupid idea of a joke. Georgia knew all too well how scared he was of her, and had decided to use it for her own personal fun as of late. Regardless, he did pour her a glass, and handed it to her. "Your face is too funny, I'm sorry for laughing at you" 

"I thought I had done something terrible, shit" 

"Like what?" 

"I don't fucking know" 

"So you haven't fucked up" Gigi shrugged, as they both knew nothing got past her, about anything, anyone, ever. "Now that everyone is asleep, I feel it is my duty to tell you your dear sister intends on pairing you up with Violet" 

"She said that?" Finn asked, as soon as he was able to stop coughing, the sting of the bourbon burning through to his nose and throat. "I'm not... not that she isn't nice, she is"

"I told her that you have been clear enough: you have no wish to form a romantic connection" Gigi interrupted, gulping down her bourbon without even making a face. Unlike Finn, she enjoyed the warm sensation of the drink, and relished in the spice of it. "If it still is true, good. If not, also good. But do go ahead and ask the lass out if you want, before someone else does" 

Finn gave it some thought for a minute, leaning back into the couch. Honestly, he was too tired to think, but this was something that didn't require much musing. He understood that Violet was a perfectly nice girl, and she was an amazing mother. She had pretty blonde hair, and beautiful hazel eyes, topping perfectly rosy cheeks. For him, that was all she was: a kind person. 

"I'm not interested in that sort of thing. I appreciate Ada looking out for me, but no, thank you" 

"Grand" Gigi simply said, closing her eyes for a moment, as she considered going to bed, or staying where she was for a bit longer, to rest her tired limbs before facing a flight of stairs. "Don't know what' with everyone and their wish to see everyone married. Jesus Christ, eh?" 

"Absolutely agree" Finn concurred, nodding his head for good measure. "That being said, though, who do we pair Violet with?" 

"Excellent question, Watson" Gigi praised, leaning forward with her elbows on her thighs, adopting a conspiracy-like demeanour. "Michael goes both ways, but I don't like him" 

"Michael does what?" Finn blurted out, choking on the bit of scotch he had been swinging around his mouth. "Goes both ways like what?" 

"Oh. like he's into lads and lasses" 

"I did not know that. Did he tell you that?"

"Nah. He was going out with this kid from a family I do business with, but then they broke it off... then, Michael moved on to a girl that sings at a club" Gigi informed, oblivious to why Finn seemed so shocked. "Oh, please. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. How the fuck do you know that, though?"

"I know everything" 


	11. Chapter 11

Finn and Georgia sat across from Michael and looked at him, examining the everything, from the stitching of the suit, to the gel in his hair. They were looking for something very specific: a redeeming quality that convinced them he was their man, the one they were looking for. Thus far, all they saw were shortcomings, especially Finn, who was on the fence on whether he could forgive his cousin for what he had done to Tommy. It seemed to change daily, each interaction dictating how he felt that particular time. 

"Are you going to say something, or are you just going to sit there, staring at me?" Michael ended up asking, with his eyebrow raised and intertwined fingers. He liked to put on a brave face in front of Georgia, though he didn't care much about, or for, Finn. "What did I do?"

"Fucks sake" Finn let out, already fuming. Michael never was one of his favourite people, especially when he came along and suddenly Polly didn't pay them equal amounts of attention. Now, he dared act in this manner, all but spiting Gigi, who had given him a job and found him a place of his own, not to mention be the daughter Polly deserved and didn't find in the fruit of her own womb. "We're trying to do something nice for you... or we were. Now, I don't think I want to subject that poor girl to this attitude. Abort mission, Gi" 

"Oh, come on, no way in hell you're trying to set me up with someone. No, what in the hell..." Michael chuckled, more nervous than spiteful now. "How dare you try to interfere in my life?"

"Yup, abort mission. We were trying to help you find someone nice to spend your time with, since you mentioned to your mother you were open to it. But I agree with Finn: I don't want to subject poor Violet to that" Georgia nodded, getting up and stomping her feet all the way to the bar. There, she poured herself a drink, a little less for Finn, and even less for Michael, who she knew could not handle his alcohol. "That's the last time I try to be nice to you, Michael" 

"Oh, as if you're very nice to other people. Besides, Violet? Come on, you cannot be serious" Michael mocked, unsure of what the angle was. "I have never, in my whole life, met someone was uninteresting and positively dull as that girl. The way she always has a smile on her face unnerves me" 

"You're talking about my niece's mother" Georgia warned, which was an honour Michael did not know to identify: she never issued warnings, and only did so out of respect for Polly. 

"How could I forget, she also mated with that brother of yours, who was a savage and an idiot..." Michael started, going as far as getting up from the couch and standing directly in front of Georgia, issuing a challenge put in the worst of terms. "Doesn't surprise me he found that ditsy waste of space, and bred another one of you" 

Finn had been paralysed in place, unable to move a muscle or blink, shocked beyond action by the venom in Michael's words. What was more surprising was that the attack that descended upon Polly's son did not come from Georgia, who had chosen to sit back and enjoy her drink, letting someone else do the job. That someone was Violet herself, who had launched off the ground, latching on to Michael and attacking every spot she could get a hold of, punching and scratching what she could. 

"Alright, that's enough" Georgia ended up saying, getting up and separating the two. "Come on, sweetheart" she added, taking Violet as calmly as she could into the kitchen, and offering her a seat. Only when the guest had a cup of water did the lady of the house go back to the living room, to deal with the issue. 

"I didn't know she would be here" Michael was trying to explain to Finn, who was red with anger. "I didn't know..." 

"Because saying those things about someone is fine, as long as it's behind their back" Finn growled, deeply insulted on everyone's behalf. "And what you said about Bonnie Gold, in front of Georgia, under her own roof? If not for decency, do you have any self-preservation instincts? Do you know who you're talking to when you speak to her?" 

"Oh, please, Gigi would never hurt..." Michael started, only to be cut short by a smooth blow to the back of his knee, that made him collapse to the ground, avoiding the corner of the coffee table by less than an inch. 

"Here's the gist of it, Michael: Polly is like a mother to me, you go that right, and her heart would break if something were to happen to you. However, she is also in the kitchen right now, with a very distressed young woman, who happens to be a widow, and a single mother, and whom you have offended deeply and irreversibly. On top of that, the very same young woman, widow, and single mother carried my niece, the only surviving bit of my brother, whom I loved more than words. Even if that was not the case, Violet is a good soul, sweet, and luckily extremely brave. All this to say, Michael, that I want you out of here. I will, as a gesture of goodwill, allow you to live in this city. But if I lay eyes on you ever again... well, let's just say my body count is much bigger than yours, and all of it close range" Gigi explained, as if she was detailing the alphabet to a very small child. There was nothing on her face, an absolute absence of any emotion, that Finn did not like one bit. In other words, if she looked at him like that, he would have tried to put as much distance between the two as humanly possible. 

Michael seemed to come to his senses fast enough, and him too understood what Gigi meant beyond her words. The last sound they heard was the door banging. 


	12. Chapter 12

Violet was not very combative as a person, but she did not expect to ever hear such things about herself, and about her daughter's father. Truly, that was what made her lose her composure: to hear Michael (someone she did not know very well, if at all) call Bonnie a savage, when he had been anything but. If anyone was a savage, it was Michael himself, whom Violet could not believe was Polly's child. Polly had never shown anything but the utmost kindness toward Violet herself and Aishe, whereas her son was a horrible person, attacking the dead and the living with equal amounts of spite. 

"I don't know what to say" Ada admitted, having entered the kitchen after the debacle, receiving a quick brief from Georgia and Finn, who had joined Polly and Violet in the kitchen after Michael left. "I don't understand why he had to be so awful" 

"Not the first time he does it, either" Finn muttered, taking baby Aishe from Polly, and letting her squeeze his finger. 

"I don't know what that was, either" Polly agreed, in disbelief of her son's actions, though it was true that he was not the most considerate of people. "I'm assuming he did not apologise" 

"He didn't, which was to be expected" Gigi confirmed, exchanging looks with Finn, the only one who had been there with her from the start. "Might have been my fault, too. I'm sorry Violet, I was the one who had the idea of pairing you and him" 

"Oh" Violet let out, looking at Gigi from her chair, half parts confused and disappointed. "I don't know how to say this, but... No, no thank you" 

"No, of course not, not after that. We thought he had changed for the better since he came here, but we were wrong. I'm sorry too, Violet" Finn added, understanding now that Michael would be a spoiled brat until the very day he died, and that he wouldn't be a good match for anyone who was decent. 

"I appreciate you trying to find someone for me, but I would rather it not be him" Violet shrugged, though her shoulders were quite heavy. "Truth be told, I would rather it just be me and Aishe. I've had my great love already, you know? No point in trying again" 

"Fuck" Gigi gulped, sobbing before Ada could even run to her across the few square feet of the kitchen that separated them.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm so sorry" Violet apologised, getting up from her chair and extending a clean handkerchief to her sister-in-law. 

"It's not your fault, I just miss him" Gigi managed to stutter, sniffling and trying very hard to regain her composure. "I'm a fucking baby, my god" 

"Of course not, you miss your brother, that's all" Ada sighed into her wife's hair, both of them knowing she shared that pain, and couldn't escape it easily, either. "If you ever change your mind, Violet, I think I know of a couple men who would be better suitors than my stupid cousin" 

"That's very kind, thank you" Violet chuckled, noticing her baby girl was watching Gigi intently, with her big eyes. "The way I see it, and if it's not an imposition on you, we have all the family we need right here" 


	13. Chapter 13

Finn offered to take Violet home, as she had arrived with Ada, and didn't have her own means of transportation. As Finn was not very confident taking Ada's car through the city (even at night), he decided to simply walk her there, as the night was chilly, but pleasant. Violet gladly agreed, pointing out that both her and Aishe would do well with some more fresh air. 

"This is nice. Thank you for accompanying us" Violet cheerfully said, breaking through the silence. There was no one else on the street, and her voice carried fairly well, which only made it stranger when Finn seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, and didn't reply. In her good nature, she didn't think much of it, convinced that the two of them didn't know each other well enough to prevent some awkwardness. Besides, Finn was already doing enough, pushing Aishe in her stroller; he was in no way shape or form forced to make conversation, too. 

However, Finn had heard what she said, but had registered as happening in a dimension he could overlook for now, as more important things were being debated. Certainly he could change his mind, and could try to... even after what he had said, what he had told his nearest and dearest friends and family members. Really, it wasn't love he was looking for, it was something more akin to companionship.And truly, Finn could see himself wishing for something like that, and for the type of happiness that being a family man with a daughter could bring. On top of that, Violet had said something that sparked his interest. she already had her great love, and was not looking for another one. Well, Finn himself was not looking to fall in love, as the concept was preposterous. So, maybe there was something that could be arranged between the two, for safety, stability, to make sure Violet and Aishe were officially family, to guarantee they would be protected, and that the little one had a father figure.

"Violet, I want to ask you something" Finn voiced, his turn to break the silence of the street. Violet looked up at him, not knowing what the question would be, but understanding that her thanks had not been registered in her companion's brain. 

"Sure!" She smiled, noticing that Finn was walking slowly to keep up with her, which could not be comfortable, but was a nice gesture. 

"When you said you were not looking to fall in love again, did you mean it?"

"Yeah" Violet confirmed, leaning over to adjust the blanket over Aishe, who had freed herself from it despite the cold. "I believe that there is one person for us, and I already had mine. We didn't have much time, but I have our baby girl, so it's like Bonnie remains here with me" 

"Of course" Finn nodded, grabbing the handles of the baby stroller a bit harder, in disbelief of what was going through his head. "I'm not looking for it, either. Not because I had it already, but because I don't think I can fall in love, nor do I think I want to. What I do know is that I can offer you comfort, for you and Aishe. I am not saying I want to replace Bonnie, I would never do that. What I'm saying is that maybe you could consider..."

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I think I understand what you mean" Violet responded, unaware that Finn himself was completely lost in his own speech. "No love for you, no love for me, but we wouldn't be lonely" 

"Yeah, basically" Finn let out, happy to not have to conclude an already disastrous train of thought. "I don't know, maybe it's a terrible idea, but... look, we would make a good team. And I would never let you or the baby be hungry, or cold, or... or scared, even. I don't know how you grew up, but my dad wasn't around, and when my aunt Polly found Michael, I wasn't..."

"You never really had parents, and you wish you did" Violet clarified, though it wasn't her story. "I had a mother and a father, too. They decided I was no longer a good fit for their family, for their image. Didn't care that Bonnie married me, didn't care that there was a baby on the way, and certainly did not care that I had nowhere to go after what happened"

"Never again. Ever." Finn guaranteed, stopping in his tracks. Violet stopped too, her breath forming a cloud over her mouth. "I'm not asking for a doting wife, I'm not demanding anything, nothing... sordid, or anything you don't want to do"

"No, I didn't think you were" Violet responded, wondering for the first time if he was older than her, younger, of they were matched in age. He did, to his credit, have kind, sincere eyes, and Aishe did like it when he held her. But being proposed to like this, out of nowhere, was slightly jarring. "Could I have some time to think about it? I am very grateful and flattered, I really am, I just need some time" 

"Yes, of course. No rush" 


	14. Chapter 14

Finn agreed to give Violet as much time as she needed to think his offer over. He almost expected to think the idea was insane by the time he woke up the next day, but the opposite happened: she was the first thing on his mind, as well as baby Aishe. Maybe one day he would be waking up under the same roof as them, in a home he bought for their small family. Yes, because he now earned a salary for his work with Gigi at the farm, as his sister-in-law paid all those who worked with her and for her, and paid them well enough to afford a decent living. Before that, though, he needed to get up, needed to shower, and needed to keep his secret to himself. 

"You look happy today" Ada pointed out, seeing her baby brother enter the kitchen, and handing him a cup of coffee. "Anything you want to tell me?" 

"Huh? No, not really I've been sleeping better lately. Working at the farm and all" Finn explained, going to sit next to Elizabeth's high chair. The baby was making a big mess of her oatmeal, but Ada and Gigi were adamant that she try and eat by herself. "There's oatmeal on your forehead, baby" he pointed out to his niece, who giggled and shook her head. With all the care in the world, Finn took his handkerchief and wiped the little one's face clean. 

"Hello" Gigi all but shouted from the door, stomping her feet to Ada and planting an exaggerated on her cheek. "Good morning" 

"Good morning. Your daughter is almost drowning in her food" Ada laughed, sipping on her tea. "Finn gave her a wipe, but I don't think it worked very well" 

"It absolutely didn't, there were some dried flakes I couldn't get off" Finn confirmed, still trying to get Elizabeth to stay still long enough. Gigi, however, was the source of such joy for the little one that the mission became impossible. "You're not helping"

"What's wrong with some food on her cheeks?" Gigi inquired, making funny faces for the baby to laugh. "Look, it doesn't bother her one bit" 

Ada rolled her eyes, knowing all too well that her partner did not see any harm in muddy kids and dirt footprints, even if they were going out to dinner. If she had her way, the children would all roll around with the animals, in the rain, and eat with their hands, around a campfire. In fact, it didn't seem to have been detrimental to her own health as a child: Gigi was never sick, and her only source of ailment was her shoulder, which troubled her constantly these days.

"Karl is getting ready to go with you, today" Ada informed, as Gigi took Elizabeth (done eating at this point), and carried her on her hip. The baby was delighted by this, and relished on being the centre of attention. "He wouldn't take no for an answer" 

"Of course, he's very welcome. He can help with the horses, they need the hay changed" Gigi confirmed, thereby relieving Finn from that particular chore. He wasn't too mad about that either, as shovelling hay was not a priority. "You know he's getting really at taking care of the animals, I'm very proud" 

"As long as he does well in school, I am too" Ada nodded, ardently wishing to know whether Finn was in love or what was going on. Was it something Violet had said during their walk? What had happened between there and now that made Finn daydream? But no, she wouldn't ask, she wouldn't put him on the spot like that. Whatever it was, she would be made aware when he was ready. 

It turned out that Violet needed four days and one morning to come to a conclusion on what she would like to reply to Finn's hopes. In the meantime, her mind raced whenever she was idle, and the decision seemed too difficult to put into coherent thought. The matter of betraying Bonnie was not an issue, as she knew he wouldn't be forgotten, and would always have a place in their daughter's life. This would be more of a social arrangement: she wouldn't have to go through life with the difficulties of being a single parent in that day and age, and her daughter would have two people looking after her, and providing for her. Violet herself, and her own feelings, were not that important, as Aishe was the sole reason she was even considering joining lives with the youngest Shelby. So, when she phoned the Gold household to ask him to meet, the answer was easy: Aishe would benefit greatly from the deal, and that was all that mattered. 

"I am sorry to keep you waiting" Violet apologised, handing Finn a teacup. They were sitting in her modest living room, drinking tea out of her second-hand teacups, and the home itself was so small Finn felt like a giant in a dollhouse. The feeling was not, however, unpleasant: he appreciated the manner Violet put everyone at ease, and had manners fit for a princess, which more than made up for the modesty of her living situation. "I didn't want to rush into a answer"

"Oh, of course" Finn dismissed, savouring the truly excellent tea he had been so generously served. In reality, it was so good he did not need sugar. "Don't worry about that" 

"So, you haven't changed your mind?"

"Me? No, not at all. If anything, I have been giving this a lot of thought, and I think it's by far the best decision I've ever made, apart from coming to live here" Finn assured, with equal measures excitement and nervousness. "I did want to tell you that there won't be any hard feelings, either" 

"I don't know if I will ever be able to repay this generosity, truly. I... What you're offering me and my baby girl, it's..." Violet managed to let out, choking back tears she wasn't aware she was keeping to herself. "If there is every anything I can do to repay you..." 

"What? No, no, I'm the one who should be thanking you. You're giving me the thing I want the most: a family of my own, to look after and protect" Finn explained, alarmed at the sight of tears in Violet's eyes. 

"It's a deal, then" 


	15. Chapter 15

The interest in the arrangement was null, for a very specific reason: it was simply not discussed, at all. Finn did not want to tell anyone, and Violet didn't, either. Truthfully, it wasn't because they were scared of the reactions, or didn't trust the ones around them. No, it was because this was their business, and their alone. No one would understand, though they would surely say they did, and would ask questions that were simply not welcome. The basis of the matter was truly very simple, and had to do with convenience, and with both of them knowing that they would make a good team for raising Aishe. 

So that was what Finn thought about, and what ran through his head every time he was in the same room as Violet. That woman, that kind, sweet, earnest soul, who had been widowed in such a horrid manner, was now his to protect and care for. In the same vein, he also knew Violet liked to have him around, as a male presence deterred any unwanted and even dangerous approaches. So Finn was hers, too.

And though he didn't want to see it at first, though he chose to be oblivious to it at first, there was something about her that made his heart jump a beat. Especially when she put her hair up, and soft stray hairs decorated the nape of her neck. Who knew a neck could be so perfect? And why was a man who had thought himself immune to love and allure spending so much time staring at a neck? 

"Are you feeling alright?" 

"Huh? Yeah, why not?" he replied, when she interrupted his musings with a crystal clear voice, seeping with concern. Only then did Finn realise she had likely caught him staring at her, and at those bits of hair. "I'm sorry, early morning" 

"Oh, I thought you looked sick" Violet smiled, handing Finn the customary teacup. Now that they had decided on marrying in a small, civil ceremony, most of Violet's home was in boxes, but the second-hand teacups remained. "Aishe is asleep now, and you're welcome to take my bedroom if you need a nap" 

"No, I'm alright. Thank you, though" 

"Is my hair out of place? I put it up when I was feeding Aishe, and..." Violet started saying, but didn't get through the whole sentence. Finn reached out to take the strand and tuck it into her bun, and the familiarity of the gesture took her aback even more than the brushing of his fingers did. 

"Sorry, I don't know why I did that" Finn admitted, taking a couple of steps back, concerned this was too forward, concerned about what in the hell had possessed him to do such a thing. "It was just there" 

"Yeah, I was in a hurry. No need to apologise, I don't want my hair out of place" she laughed, the air around them clearing up from the awkwardness of such a timid gesture. "It's just hair" 

Indeed, it was. But it was her hair, and it was soft, and golden, and the touch of it lingered on Finn's fingertips like the whisper of something new, something odd. In that strand, in that loose, rebellious strand, the light and joy of being around Violet were represented beautifully, and with a simplicity the mind couldn't comprehend. And this mind, the same one that had thought itself broken beyond repair, beyond the possibility of love, grasped the possibility of angels, and of this angel in particular. 

"Boundaries" Finn sagely chuckled, wondering how many of them would be left once they signed papers that turned them into husband and wife. For Violet, it was quite simple, and it would surely be then, to: she would be pleasant, she would be sweet, she would be supportive and hard working. For Finn, and for his fatal attraction to that strand of hair, things wouldn't be so linear. 

"Sure, but hair is... hair. I don't mind it when those close to me invade my personal space" Violet dismissed, shrugging happily and going back to her roast, which smelled next to divine. "Funny how I don't know you all that well, but will call you my husband soon. Maybe I could ask you if you have a favourite composer, so that I know what to play when I can afford a piano" 

"You play piano?" Finn asked, pretty convinced he had never even seen one of them in the flesh. "I don't know any composers, but I can get a piano" 

"No, no, that's alright, I'm saving up for one" 

"Are you going to make me beg? Do you know how much money my brother left me in his will?" 

"I don't, but I wouldn't want you to spend it on me" 

"It's a lot. Enough for a house for us, and enough for a piano" Finn explained, giving in to another whim, and grabbing Violet's hands on his. "Yeah?" 

"No, I can't accept that!" Violet refused, the same old smile on her face. "Pianos cost a lot of money" 

"Would it make you happy, though?"

"I can rent the one in the library" 

"Aishe could learn, too" 

That mention was what made Violet blush and nod, unable to deny such a generous offer for her daughter. Oh, and what an offer: to have Aishe grow up just like she herself had, with music and laughter. And how sad it was it had all gone away, like music notes in the wind. 


	16. Chapter 16

"Oh. Oh wow. I did not... I thought..." 

"I have no idea of what is happening, either" 

"I have no other way to say this: those are some of the most incredible news I have ever received in my life" Ada gasped, getting up from the couch and hugging her baby brother as tightly as she could. "How amazing, how perfect"

"You told me, to my face, that you were not interested, nor able, to fall in love. But now, the story I'm hearing is quite different" Georgia chimed in, still sat on the couch, with one leg over the other, and her arms equally crossed. The look on her face was one of brewing anger, and Finn detested to see it directed at him. 

"That's not the reason I'm marrying Violet. We decided to marry to make sure Aishe didn't have to grow up with just one parent, and with the difficulties that would bring for her. I know I could take care of a family of my own, I want to take care of a family of my own" Finn defended himself, a bit of anger rising through his chest, too. Who was Georgia to question their choice? That question was, as he knew all too well, quite stupid to ask: she was his mentor, and she was Aishe's aunt. 

"You said, and I quote 'I wouldn't want to marry anyone else'. No one is forcing you to marry, and no one is forcing you to marry Violet, who is protected by my men, and could have the biggest mansion in Wales if she did as much as ask for it" Georgia pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Finn. "What I'm saying is quite simple: though my brother was the best man that ever lived and cannot be matched, I don't wish for a woman as generous and good as Violet to spend the rest of her life with someone who is with her only for duty... someone who will not love her like she deserves" 

This was unfair, and Gigi knew it, as did Ada. But there was a point to be made: if Finn did not love Violet, he would be depriving her of finding love again, and all but dooming her to a lifetime of marriage to a man who wouldn't love her. Nevermind not loving the person back; it is better to be loved by your husband, than to not be. Knowing this, the name of the game was straightforward: either Finn was man enough to understand something in his life had changed, or the marriage to Violet would be vetted. Harsh, but true and simple. 

"She told me herself she knows she will never love someone like she loved..." Finn started, before Gigi interrupted him, raising her hand. 

"I'm not asking if she loves you. I'm asking if you love her" Georgia plainly stated, intertwining her fingers. This was his move now, and Finn would either have to put up or shut up, because there was only one right answer for a courtship which had lasted five entire months, with lengthy periods of him vanishing from his own home, or speeding out from the farm. "And I'm asking if you will love her more than any other man would" 

"Yes" 

The silence in the room was heavy, but not in an unpleasant way. No, it was more laden with triumph, and feeling, than it was with strangeness. Equally easy to grasp was that answer, which had come with no hesitation, and without any thought. An admission, a reality, the full bloom of what had been a blossom the day Finn Shelby had tucked that piece of hair into Violet's bun. Maybe not the kind of love which overcomes one at first sight, or the kind of love that makes you mad with desire, but the kind of love that made even the most mundane of tasks, the most worldly of gestures a blessing and a pleasure... the kind of love that a lifetime nurtures. 

"Do I need to explain myself? Do you need me to sign a declaration? Do I need to swear on the Bible?" Finn asked, unsure of what else he could do to convince a very tough audience. "How else do you need me to say it? Huh?" 

"Does she know? I think she thinks you're marrying her because you made an agreement, not because you managed to fall for her in less than half a year" Ada mocked, making the utmost effort not to laugh. "Have you told her?" 

"I hadn't even thought about it like that!" Finn argued, detesting being put on the spot more and more with each passing second. "What was I going to tell her? That I'm insane, and that I fell in love with her out of the blue?" 

"I would say it like that. I would say 'I love you'" Gigi shrugged once more, her too battling the laughter she really wanted to let out. 

"I love you, Violet. That's what I should say?" Finn asked, speaking slightly louder than normal, his heart beating out of his chest. "I love you" 

Someone, somewhere behind his back dropped something. Like a reflex, Finn turned, and though he should have known it would be Violet herself, it was still a shock. Polly was there too, eyebrows almost hidden by her fringe, with baby Aishe in her arms. The fallen material ended up being a purse and a bag with with some vegetables, now scattered across the floor. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt" Violet whispered, her cheeks bright pink, as well as the tip of her nose. Other than that, she did not know what to say. 


	17. Chapter 17

Violet understood the irony of catching two different man talking about her. The first time, with Michael, it had been on accident. This time, it had been orchestrated: Polly and Gigi had conspired with Ada to have Violet come into the room and hear exactly why Finn wanted to marry her. Goes without saying that they had long suspected the two were together, or at least interested in each other, but the conversation that day had started in a very different vein, putting the situation as an agreement, and not as a love match. Nevertheless, the look on Finn's face said different whenever he spoke Violet's name. So, when Polly passed by the lobby and locked eyes with Ada, the two decided to bring in Violet, quietly.

"Not interrupting" Gigi chuckled, getting up and extending her hand to Ada, to help her up as well. "We'll leave you to figure it out" 

The room was absolutely silent as the three women made a point of going up the stairs, to ensure maximum privacy for the young couple. Finn wished they hadn't, however, as he felt quite awkward. Even Violet, who was usually impervious to such things, felt a bit unsure of what to do, or if she should say anything. It hadn't crossed her mind that Finn could develop feelings for her, believing as she did that he wasn't capable of them. 

"I didn't know you'd be listening" Finn ended up saying, looking down at his shoes, hands deep in his pockets. 

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry I did" Violet replied, as sincerely as she could. If she hadn't heard it, she could go on living in the simpler world of marrying Finn with no feelings involved. 

"I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to trick you when we decided to do this, but I didn't expect to..." 

"No, it's alright! We learn things about ourselves every day" Violet countered, herself having discovered she did not like to be taken off guard in serious matters. "I take it you meant it, then" 

"I did" Finn admitted, turning to look at Violet, who hadn't moved from the doorway. "But I don't expect you to feel the same for me. The way I feel for you now doesn't change anything, unless you want it to. If this is out of line, if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll just cancel the whole thing. I will still be here for you, for Aishe" 

"I don't want you to be stuck with me. If you can love me, you can love someone else, and I would hate to be the reason why you felt you missed out" Violet explained, deciding not to cry as she normally would.

"No"

"What you mean, no?"

"I mean no, I don't want to be in love with someone else, want to be in love with you. I have fallen more in love with you every day I have known you, and I can't even imagine how in love with you I'll be in ten days, ten weeks, ten years" Finn pronounced, absolutely not finding a better manner of expressing his feelings. Truth be told, he didn't know that many words, let alone the ones needed to explain something as engulfing as love, and as love born out of sharing the most down-to-earth things. 

"Would it be alright if I... if I needed some time to try and do the same?" Violet asked, after a considerable amount of words, both spoken and unspoken, lingered between the two. 

"You don't need to do that" Finn assured, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. "I'm not asking you to do that"

"I know you're not. But let me try" 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this 'cause it's fun at this point, so I'm sorry if anyone actually reads this and is like "wtf this bitch keeps jumping ahead" well yeah sorry

The etymology of the word "honeymoon" was unknown to Finn until he found himself in one of Laura's country properties, a cottage she only rarely visited, but which had been her wedding gift to Finn and Violet. It would serve as their country home, a getaway for Aishe to be in the nature, and for the happy couple to have for themselves in the first days of their marriage. Their townhouse, a few streets away from where Gigi and Ada lived with their own family, was equally as cosy, decorated with dedication by Violet, who doted on the abode with endless patience. 

"This is the most beautiful place I have ever seen" Violet gasped, allowing Finn to open the car door for her, and extending his hand to aid her. In her usual innocence, Violet thought she would be allowed to help with the luggage, but her new husband did not let her lift a finger. In fact, he didn't even let her enter the home: once the bags were inside, Finn came back out and stood in front of Violet, who was looking around and taking in the country scents. 

"It is tradition for a man to carry his wife" Finn stated, hands on his waist, stuck between laughing or dying of embarrassment. "You know, inside the house" 

"I'm aware. You don't have to" Violet chuckled, eager to see what the inside of the cottage looked like. "I can walk" 

"No, I want to do it, I'm asking for permission" he explained, absolutely mortified. In fact, he looked like he had been in the sun too long, with red cheeks and nose. "Didn't want to.. you know. Pick you up out of nowhere" 

"Ah. That's very cavalier of you" was Violet's answer. She looked like she was about to burst out laughing, and it was not helping Finn to make this moment as romantic and idyllic as possible. "Of course, you may pick me up. But please don't hurt yourself" 

"I will not hurt myself, you're small" Finn dismissed with a grunt, taking the necessary steps to approach Violet. Then, as carefully as a man of his height could, he picked her up, one arms beneath her knees, and the other supporting her back. In all honesty, Violet was not a fan of her feet being off the ground; but if the two of them were going for the romance, then she would refrain from crying. 

Across the threshold, it was like being transported to an alternative reality, the sort where two people could coexist with nothing getting in between them. This was not, surely, the type of marriage which was conducive to hurried kisses and a rush to the bedroom. No, this was the type of marriage which allowed the home to be appreciated. Violet surely did, whereas Finn had visited before, to make sure the one detail he needed for this honeymoon to be something other than a chore for his young bride. 

"It's beautiful" Violet sighed, turning around, her eyes moving at a very fast pace, memorising every nook and cranny. "Truly"

"Isn't it? I love it here, too. There's something I want to show you" Finn announced, taking the deepest breath he possibly could. "I hope it's the right one" 

"Ok...?" she responded, walking over to him, trying to decipher what it was he meant. But it became more obvious the more she ventured into the parlour: there was a piano of the finest quality sitting right there, waiting for her to play it. "Oh my gosh. Oh wow" 

"Surprise" 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slightly nsfw.   
> no actually nsfw  
> yup.

The absolute joy of seeing a piano was too much. It had been so long since Violet had touched the keys, or the soft wood of the instrument... There were never words to describe a happiness like this, not with the propensity she had to being speechless when overwhelmed. It was like she was alone in the world with that piano, she seemed to be in a different plane of existence. 

Only she wasn't, and there was someone in the room with her. That someone was now her legal husband, and the likely purchaser of the piano. The man wasn't Bonnie Gold, with whom she had fallen in love, head over heels, at first sight. The man was Finn Shelby, who had listened to her and watcher her take care of another man's baby, with the type of love in his eyes only a father could have. And perhaps this wasn't the most epic of stories, but the thrill of walking into a home and seeing a piano was enough for a woman like her to swoon, and to feel the familiar weakness at the knees, characteristic to the first sparks of affection. 

So now, the world expanded: there was Violet herself, there was Aishe in background (safe, with her aunt, and surrounded with people who would look after her), there was the piano, and, right next to the piano, there was Finn. Once more, this Finn was different than the one she remembered meeting before the piano. This was Finn the man, which somehow transcended Finn the friend, Finn the one she had agreed to marry for Aishe's sake. Finn the man was tall, and had eyes she could admire, and hands she deemed would be soft around hers. 

"I hope this is the right one" Finn timidly uttered, unsure of his own actions, and sincerely hoping the look of absolute shock in Violet's face would not turn to anger, or sadness. The split second which separated the stillness from the biggest smile he had ever seen Violet produce was gigantic, but once that smile was there, Finn's own heart seemed to want to break out of his chest. 

"It is. It is. It absolutely is, and I have no words to thank you for this" Violet responded, letting the pad of her finger run over the varnished wood, closing her eyes and allowing herself to imagine what the machine underneath would yield once she was able to play it. 

"I don't have the words to thank you for giving me a family. This is just my way of trying to thank you, or of trying to make this less... challenging" Finn admitted, not forgetting that he had admitted to wanting to marry Violet because he was in love, but she hadn't felt the same. And though she promised to try, he knew better than anyone that love wasn't easy to achieve in its true form when one was trying.

"I like challenges. And I think I'll like facing that challenge with you" Violet shrugged, able at last to look beyond the piano and into her husband's eyes. The spell was broken easily enough, however, as she decided it not to linger too much, as she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. "Since you've been here before, will you show me around?"

"Well, that's another thing... This was Laura's, and there are two bedrooms. But she... well, she decided we would only need the one bedroom, and turned the other one into a nursery, for when Aishe comes along" Finn explained, wanting to make very clear it was not his fault at all that there was only the one adult-sized bed. It was a mammoth of a bed, but it was still just one. "There should be some blankets stashed away somewhere, so I'll take the sofa"

"I don't mind. I mean, we're married, it would hardly be a scandal" Violet laughed, only to stop herself in her tracks, her face going blank again. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable"

"I uh... I'll take the sofa. It looks comfortable" Finn chose to reply, knowing it was far better not to become familiar with something he knew he couldn't let go of, and which would build in him the hope of one day being the one Violet would want to hold her. 


	20. Chapter 20

True to his word, Finn too the sofa, and wouldn't take no for an answer from Violet. She did try to get him to share the bed with her, assuring him she wouldn't be embarrassed r anything of the sort. But no, he wouldn't budge, hellbent on the uncomfortable living room sofa, which was not even half his size. 

"Fine. If you don't sleep in a bed, I won't either" Violet informed, leaning against the wall. This was a bit of a new side to her Finn didn't know: she could be feisty, and was stubborn when she set her mind to something. 

"Why would you say something like that? Stop being like this, and go to sleep" Finn almost demanded, getting up from the sofa and facing Violet, looking down a good bit to be able to do so. 

"I won't be able to sleep if I know you're uncomfortable" Violet admitted, losing a bit of her bravado. "I really won't, I'd feel bad" she added, with a voice like an injured baby bird, little more than a sad whisper. For her, the thought of a man as generous as her now-husband being uncomfortable because of her was gut-wrenching. 

"Not as bad as I would feel, sharing a bed with you and... because I know I would... I'm not saying no because I think it's wrong or... I just don't want to have hopes of what this could be. That's it" Finn ended up confessing, in an almost exasperated tone of voice. "It's not because of you, or because I don't want to, or..."

"May I kiss you?" Violet asked, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly, not a bit of embarrassment on her face, not even a tinge of pink on her cheeks. Her question was just that: a question. And she would be fine with whatever the answer was. 

"Are you serious?" Finn asked in return, not knowing whether this was a joke, or a true question. "Is it a joke?"

"Not a joke. I told you I would try to fall in love with you. And now I'm asking if you would help me make sure I do" 

Finn had never, in his life, felt the way those words made him feel. Questions be damned, he needed to kiss Violet, and he needed to kiss her in a way that would clear her mind of any doubts she could have about their matrimony. Made easier by her back already being against the wall, his body pressed against hers, lifting her feet off the floor without meaning to. That was when a fleeting though crossed his mind: that she was trapped, with nowhere to go if she wanted it to stop. 

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to back you into a literal wall" Finn chuckled, his lips tingling and aching for more of that connection. Violet, in turn, felt the same, but couldn't stop herself from laughing at how sincerely and utterly funny that statement had been.

"No need to be sorry! I liked it. I was here before you kissed me" Violet pointed out, her feet back on the floor, much to her disappointment. "Alright, now that you have kissed me, would you please sleep in bed? Put pillows between us, whatever. But please don't sleep in that sofa"


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nsfw

Nights were better when there was nothing to fear. Yes, Aishe wasn't with them, but she was protected, and Violet... Violet slept soundly, her face displaying a soft smile, her two hands by the side of her face, like the perfect picture of slumber. She was so beautiful, and even without the sweetness of her eyes, Finn could not look away. Something about watching her as she slept made him feel lighter, purged from any thoughts that were negative, or unpleasant. No space was left between the two of them for anything even remotely resembling demons, probably scared to even come close to an angel like she was. 

And then there had been that kiss, that kiss of his dreams, the kiss Finn knew he would never forget. The entirety of his life could be spent without ever touching her, fed by the memory of her lips touching his, of her tongue and of her body against his. Yes, that would be his dearest, fondest memory: kissing the woman he had fallen for, in a cottage that was theirs, during their honeymoon.

Eventually, night began to give way to day, and Finn fell asleep. The distance he'd kept from Violet when awake was no longer within his control, almost like her warmth drew him in when inhibitions were out of their control. However, it would not be scandalous in the slightest for a married couple to be found within five inches of each other. That was, of course, valid for typical married couples: this one wasn't at all traditional. 

"Hi. How did you sleep?" Violet inquired the next morning, welcoming a newly-showered Finn into the kitchen, where she was making breakfast. 

"Well, yea. You?" Finn asked back, torn between taking a deep breath to inhale the delicious smell of what his wife was cooking, or opening his eyes as big as he could to take her in, framed by the light coming from the window in the kitchen. 

"Me too. I'm making some food. You like pancakes? I made then with blueberries. There are some in the garden" Violet explained, turning one of the aforementioned pancakes on the pan. "I wasn't sure at first, but then I thought 'everyone likes pancakes'" 

"That's true, everyone loves pancakes" Finn smiled, approaching Violet with small, shy steps. In reality, he thought of kissing her, even if it was on the cheek, but what had been a well-formed plan when he was coming down the stairs, was now nothing but a foggy hope. "Thank you. For breakfast"

"No need!" Violet responded, happily shrugging. In honesty, she was thinking it wasn't such a bad way to wake up. "I also made tea some minutes ago, it's in there" 

It was only after breakfast that both newlyweds understood they had no idea of what they would do with their time. There was the radio, and there were books, there as a chess set... but none of these options seemed appealing. One way or the other, what they did end up doing was sitting on the sofa, the same one which had caused discord the night before, looking at the wall in front of them. 

"Maybe we should have brought some games" Finn ended up sighing, thankfully causing Violet to laugh. "I didn't think of that"

"I didn't, either. I..." Violet hesitated for a second, before she started laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. Finn had clearly not caught on to the joke, but her pure joy made him laugh, too. 

"What's going on?" Finn asked, through teary eyes and sore cheeks. "Why are we laughing?" 

"I was going to say something really cheeky" Violet chuckled, patting the corners of her eyes. "Never mind" 

"You are going to have to say it, now. Please, I cannot live with that mystery" 

"Fine, I was going to say that most of the people on honeymoons don't really dedicate their time to games" 

Just like that, the shift in the environment between the couple changed. Finn didn't feel like laughing anymore, and failed to understand just how this thought would be funny enough to have both of them in hysterics. Nevertheless, Violet had found it hilarious, and only got serious when she saw his face going stern. 

"I shouldn't have said that" Violet whispered, sucking her teeth. She hadn't meant to insult Finn, or say something that would make him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry" 

"No, no, it's fine, I'm not offended or anything, I was... are you... are you saying that..." Finn started, stammering all the way through the phrases. "You're not" 

"I'm sorry, what?" Violet asked in turn, not knowing what Finn thought she was saying. To her, it was funny that they were trying to fill their time with non-existent board games, when honeymoons were supposed to be used for... oh. Oh. "You think I'm flirting with you" 

"No, I'm saying it sounded like you were" he tried to defend himself as best as he could, even holding up his hands. "No" 

"Not how I meant it! I just thought it was funny" she responded, holding back another round of laughter. If she was honest, the world would not end if the two of them had sex. Technically, the marriage was not a marriage before that. Even after a civil ceremony, that was the rule. Now, Violet didn't have the faintest idea of how she felt about that, how she felt about that idea, but in her strong attempt to settle into this life they were trying to build, sex was not a terrible idea. No, it was a fantastic idea. An exciting one, too. "Unless you'd be happy with that" 

Finn took about 5 seconds to fully process that statement. In honesty, he took 5 seconds to understand he was not hearing voices, but that Violet had, indeed, asked him if he would want to make love to her. Was that how people said it? When a couple... when two people... Oh wow. Oh, just the thought of... with Violet, with her. Even after he thought he wouldn't want it, even if the thought of it had been the cause of such horrid discomfort... but with Violet? No, with her it would be different, it would be...not like the other times, not when he was trying to be someone else. She enjoyed being around him, she had married him, she had said it herself. Not for money. Not for the reputation. But because they... because she was trying to fall in love, and because he loved her. 

"I would be. I really would be, yeah" Finn ended up saying, in a good attempt at not committing to anything, in case Violet was still joking. "If you would, too"


	22. Chapter 22

"I'm asking because I want to know. I'm curious, I guess" Violet chimed in, giving Finn her signature shrug and smile. She was such a peculiar, gorgeous creation of the universe, Finn deemed, the way she was so honest and upfront about everything. She didn't want to make love to him because she felt like it, because she was overcome with love and lust. She simply wanted to know, out of an almost scientific search for information. 

"Curious about what?" Finn asked, deciding that he too would be absolutely honest. If he wanted to know something, he would ask. This seemed to please Violet, who appreciated this question, and the intention behind it. 

"Curious about what I'll feel, what it will be like. I want to know if it will get my heart racing" Violet informed, turning sideways to face her new husband. "Like the kiss" 

"The kiss, eh" Finn sighed, remembering all details from the aforementioned moment, when he proved to himself he was, indeed, capable of feeling a magnetic attraction to someone else, a need for her, something he absolutely had not known before. "What if I'm terrible at it?" 

"Oh. I don't know. What if I am?" Violet frankly inquired, both to Finn and to herself. Sure, she had done it with Bonnie, but it wasn't... none of them had thought about it much, and didn't have that much practice. But no, Bonnie was not invited to this honeymoon. Violet was determined to live a life after Bonnie, to try and make the most of the rest of the rest of her days. And when she married Finn, she decided to do her best to love this new state of being, and she was pretty strong-willed when she wanted to be, especially since her own happiness with Finn would mean the happiness of a good family for Aishe. 

"Impossible" Finn mocked, laughing it off as ridiculous. 

"Will you tell me to stop if you want to stop?" she asked, her voice dwindling slightly. "I really need you to say if you need to stop"

"I'll tell you. Will you?" he responded, unable to keep holding her gaze. Somehow, it was her worry for him and for his well-being that caused the spike in his heart rate. Besides, her hands were right there, almost begging to be taken into his and kissed.

"Yes" Violet assured, nodding to emphasise her point. After a second of hesitation, she stood up and extended her hands to Finn, taking them into hers and pulling him up as well as she could. "Not here, right?"

"I don't mind, but I need you to be comfortable" 

Violet nodded, and bit her bottom lip for a bit while she was making a decision of what to do next, finding the task of coming up with her idea of comfort a bit harder than expected. Obviously, she went ahead and landed on their bedroom, with the beautiful big bed, and the cloud-like mattress.

"Perfect" she acquiesced, turning around, and leading Finn by the hands up the stairs. "I was thinking the bedroom would be nice" 

"Very" Finn agreed, light-headed in the most pleasant of ways, the same tingling feeling flooding his stomach and reaching the tips of his fingers and toes. It was a miracle that he hadn't passed out from nerves and pure anticipation, such was the excitement. Needless to say, the moment the both were them in the bedroom, his hands shook and a nervous smile erupted through his lips, but Finn had never been more sure of something.

"Are you still..." Violet inquired, misinterpreting the shaking of his hands as second thoughts. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nsfw for real this time my bad for mislabelling the other chapters

Though his hands were shaky, Finn wouldn't be able to be more steady in his determination to do everything in his power for Violet. The thought of closing and locking the door came across his head, before he remembered there was no one else around, in probably miles. It wasn't, however, easy to shake the habits a lifetime had built. The realisation caused a shiver of delight to run up and down Finn's spine, calling him back to reality, and to the wife standing in front of him. She didn't seem to be in a rush, as Violet was a more 'live in the moment' sort of person, and the smile on her face let him know that she was waiting on him to be ready, waiting on him for the first move. 

"I was just thinking that we're alone. I don't have to worry about someone coming to knock on my door, or barge in to mock me and laugh" Finn confessed, bold enough to reach for Violet's hands, intertwining their fingers and bringing her a little closer. "Just you and me" 

"Just you and me. I like it this way. Not having secrets for the first time, not having to worry about what others will say or think" Violet agreed, as the scent of her new husband's cologne became the only thing she could identify. "Kiss me?"

Finn nodded, emptying his mind of all else that there was and had been, and leaning down to capture Violet's lips with his. The sweetness of the blueberries lingered in her mouth, and his tongue searched for it as if he hadn't eaten in days. This kiss was pure hunger, an act of seeking and finding, of him looking to satiate the thirst that had been ripping havoc on his soul ever since he had found it possible to fall in love with the woman he now called wife. Violet, with her unusual strength of character, allowed him to explore, agreed tacitly to his quest, and abandoned herself to the feeling a man she was starting to know caused. Long gone were the days she thought of Ada's brother as a boy, now that Finn had twice proven to be a man, capable of instilling in her a particular set of pleasurable sensations. 

The lead was Finn's when it came to the kiss, so Violet decided to contribute in other fronts. Deep down, she was almost sure that he wouldn't take initiative in any other steps, as concerned as he was with her consent, with her safety, and comfort. She too harboured those reservations, but figured she would take it upon herself to see whether new kinds of touching would be welcome or not. In keeping with that goal, never a set of buttons on a shirt were as cumbersome as then, when Violet fought to answer the calling born and raised out of the determination of her heart to fall in love with Finn. 

Eventually, she managed to throw the garment away, not caring whether it would need to be washed and ironed thoroughly afterwards. Likewise, Finn's undershirt flew in the same general direction, and all he could think was that Violet's fingers on his skin made him feel like he could crumble underneath her, all the while becoming stronger than ever before. The patterns she traced with her fingertips gave way to flat palms, flush against blushed skin, producing white-hot heat, a fire that both felt equally, though in different sides of the spectrum. 

"Here" Violet ended up whispering against Finn's mouth, preventing him from keeping the soft grip on her cheeks, and leading him to the zipper on the back of her dress. Again, she didn't think he would do it on his own, or wouldn't be comfortable with doing it on his own. Once the dress slid to the floor, there wasn't much between them both, but there was still somehow too much. So much, in fact, that even Finn overcame his initial hesitation, and picked up the pace of his actions a little, ridding himself of his trousers, and deciding there was no time like the present to pick his beloved Violet up, and carrying her the few steps from the door to the bed, where he made sure she could lay down comfortably, before his weight joined, limbs tangled up on each other now that the promised land was closer.

"This?" Finn enquired, pulling back from the kiss and sitting back, one knee on each side of Violet's thighs, his finger brushing over the strap of her simple brassiere. 

Violet nodded in return, resorting to her strategy of guiding Finn's hands to where they needed to be. In his defence, and in hers too, brassieres were complicated affairs, even if they were humble and made of cheap cotton. This one had a clasp at the front, which could be puzzling to even the most experienced of womanisers. Once it was off, though, sliding off the loveliest of marble-coloured breasts, no piece of cloth could ever be of significance, not when compared to the sweetness of holding them with his hands and kissing them with his lips. The best part of it all was how she moaned, how sensitive she was. Sucking worked too, and Violet's spine arched a little. 

"Good?" Finn asked, looking up at Violet, his eyes meeting hers in equal degrees of happiness and ecstasy. 

Violet nodded, wishing she could find her voice. Thankfully, she could still function to a degree, discarding her knickers herself. Finn knew she was doing it, but couldn't register what it meant, as he was otherwise occupied. 

"Please" Violet managed to whisper, using her palms to entice Finn into kissing her lips again. Sure, that word did come out as a plead for mercy, sounded as she was begging for something impossible. But it wasn't, and Finn wanted her to make sure it wasn't necessary to ever beg, as he would move Earth, heaven and hell to give her whatever she needed, whatever she wanted. 

"What's wrong? Should I stop?"

"No, no. Just need you to..." 

"Hm?" Finn asked, forehead against hers, kissing the corners of Violet's lips, her cheeks, her jawbone. "You don't need to beg"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Can you take that off? Please?" 

_That_ was his underwear, which Finn found easy to throw away. There was really nothing he could do to hide from Violet, even if he did want to. What was there to be ashamed of, really? She wasn't wearing anything either... 

"Go slow, alright?" Violet requested, her irises a particular shade of misty. She wasn't scared, she was more... curious. Or maybe even apprehensive, but not scared. Even apprehensive would be too strong a word after Finn nodded, making sure to properly position her hips. 

And slow Finn went. So slow, in fact, that he barely even moved. Breathing in the same air as Violet, he could watch her eyes widening, her jaw dropping, her cheeks tensing. Under him, her stomach tightened, and her legs opened as wide as she could, so that they weren't in the way. 

"Like this?" Finn asked, trembling and restricted, but feeling like he was floating away on a cloud or something equally delightful. Violet was all encompassing then, though it was his body on top of hers. 

"Yeah" Violet acquiesced, adjusting as best as she could to the position she was in. Not that she didn't like it, she did: she missed this feeling, and she liked this, liked how Finn felt, liked his curls on her forehead, liked the way his breath caught her neck. "Yes" 

Finn nodded, breathing in as deeply as he could before moving his hips, first back, and then forth, slowly, carefully, tenderly enough to get Violet to sigh. No other time in his life had felt like this, and it would be perfect if it wasn't for the herculean effort of pleasuring Violet without letting himself go int he process. His legs shook with the effort, and Finn needed to clench his fists to make sure nothing happened before time. 


	24. Chapter 24

"Here" Finn offered, extending a glass of water to Violet, who sat up under the covers to take it and drink a few sips. Finn himself had gotten his hydration in the kitchen, where the fresh air allowed him to put his thoughts into place, to come down from the high he'd never experienced before. Despite enjoying the cooler temperature, there was one thing missing in the kitchen, and that was his wife, who had to be convinced to stay in the warm bed, instead of following him to the kitchen. 

"Thank you" Violet smiled, unsure of what else to say. Should she even say something? Was it necessary at that point, when they had been quite eloquent not even ten minutes ago? There was also another mystery: why did Finn just stand there, looking at her, instead of getting back in bed. "Are you feeling well? Aren't you cold?"

"Huh? Cold? A little, but... to be honest, I didn't want to assume I could just get back in bed with you" Finn admitted, rubbing the back of his head, more embarrassed than hesitant. He didn't know the reason either, but something was keeping his feet from moving, though goosebumps were forming on his skin. 

"Are you serious? Finn, please come back to bed, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard" Violet protested, shocked though a little amused. Even if they hadn't just had sex, she would be absolutely fine with him sharing her bed, as they had done the night before. As usual, the mere thought of someone she cared for being cold or uncomfortable was not acceptable. As For Finn, he happily jumped under the warm covers, rejoicing with the comfort and shelter of the wool, and of Violet's warmth, too. She even turned to face him, those kind eyes capturing his in that spell he knew so well but always fell for. 

"Are you sure water was all you needed? I'm more than happy to go back downstairs" 

"Listen, if this is making you uncomfortable, if you want to go do something else, you can just say so" 

"No. No, Violet, no, I don't want to go anywhere, I want to stay here with you" Finn assured, panicking ever so slightly. "What I meant was that all you need to do is ask" 

"I'm alright, thank you. Nothing I need. I'm good right here" Violet chuckled, deciding there was no time like the present to run a curious finger along the bridge of his nose, his jaw, and down to his neck. Finn couldn't say it didn't feel like angels were personally touching his skin, such was the tenderness behind the gesture. "You've blue eyes" 

"I do" 

"And freckles" 

"You do, too" 

"I know! Too much sun when I was a kid" Violet laughed, with her usual good spirits. "Hey" 

"Hi" Finn responded, laughing too, none the wiser as to why he felt like giggling. "You're beautiful" 

"You are, too" 


End file.
